Wanting GOD to Provide ANSWERS~

I think we all have times in our lives, the older we get, the more times we have...of wanting answers/explanations from God for events , tragedies, health problems, financial problems or simple unfulfilled hopes and dreams that we desire. I have had people tell me, that my faith is strong, evidently ( I am guessing since they seem to see it), strong.

I know that it is not.

 Between deaths in my immediate family, and some other circumstances and relationship difficulties, and then observing other people's tragedies and misfortunes...I am having some down days as a fan/witness of God Almighty.

I have come up with an analogy to try to explain my faith right now, and it is sort of like this.

I am a fan of a team( believer in God), and I live my life, and at certain times....I sit back on some bleachers and watch other's lives, and even my own from a slight distance.

When a good play( event in life), occurs....then I cheer, clap and move closer to the field.

Life is good.

When a bad play occurs, I move up the bleachers, further from my team, the coach, and grumble. And by the way, I mean it has to be a VERY bad play , such as a death, calamity or serious health issue of someone.

I understand about job losses, break-ups, car problems, minor health issues, etc. I understand that life is not fair, and that we all have burdens.

( disclaimer-I do not move away from my son's team when they are losing).

Example: I had a very nice friend, a fellow baseball mom, a special mom of one of my son's friends, die of breast cancer, only 41 years old, fought it for years bravely...and God allowed her death. He did not cause it, but allowed it to happen, and leave a young 11 year old boy and his father without a mother in their home.

That made me move back a bit in the bleachers.

And by the way, I am already half-way back anyway, since my youngest daughter's death.

Then yesterday I found out a young , handsome 24 year old umpire at our baseball complex my son plays at, was killed by a drunk driver .

I remember him just 5 nights ago, young and healthy and nice to the children, umpiring our last game.

I subsequently shift back about two rows, further from my team( my God, my Christianity, my faith).

Frowning now.

I am not on the top of the back bleachers yet, but if tragedy after tragedy, occurs unrelentlessly...as it happens in life...

then I would REALLY like God to EXPLAIN why in the heck He allows so much sorrow and pain in our lives!!???

I know we learn from pain, I know many people unwittingly cause their own deaths through carelessness/bad habits/forming bad relationships/very bad decisions, etc.

BUT, many do not. Many people are caught up in a illness, accident,murder, abuse that they have NO part in.

So I sit back and want ( or have really) screamed at God, "What are you doing, can you see the pain here?!!!"

If some of my followers write and tell me we are supposed to go through trials and tribulations, that Jesus has overcome the world, that He was a man of sorrows, that we must suffer to learn, that we are not to grieve like ones who do not have hope...I KNOW all that.

I also know that God knows I am one very hard-headed woman who is passionate about causes and my family. That 'fighter' in me, is what makes me so difficult to calm, at least spiritually.

I can just imagine my head coach( God), on the field ( life), during a terrible, stupid play...and I am up near the top of the bleachers yelling at HIM to " STOP this, DO something ! Can't You see out there!", pointing at this or that.
And then I imagine Him turning to look at me, His assistant coaches( some Saints, Moses, Elijah ), telling Him to shut me up or throw me out of the ballpark. He instead just mildly smiles, shakes His head , and says leave her.
And I think...
If He keeps leaving me up here at the back of the bleachers I am going to fall off !  

Be careful , love your family, be kind to someone you don't feel like being kind to today,
        Gina           

Blog-FUNK here~

My front yard pink azaleas

Definition of a funk - lack of motivation and low energy ( concerning blogs).

Been going through another funk about blogging. I mean how many posts are possible about my own garden, trips to Charleston,and antique paintings can I do that will not bore my readers ? And basically taking the same photograph, just on different years. I feel too many pictures/writing of the same subject is boring.

Considering if my blog has run its course , or simply only blogging about different topics on a monthly basis or every other month.

Not trying to get any ' Oh, please don't stop blogging comments", just re-assessing. Will consider it all and be back another time,

take good care all of you,

Gina

Hey SOUL Sister~by Train

Been busy taking pics for ebay listings, now heading out to take Miss Maxine for a walk around the neighborhood. Everyone enjoy your day and tap along or dance to this song on your way~

Gina

Reminder of the GIFT of Life:

Found this on one of my daughter's friend's( Heather) facebook page , I have read some similar to this. Always a good reminder.

Life isn't fair, but its still good. When in doubt, just take the next small step (or better yet, Don't*). Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. You job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Pay off your credit card every month. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone. Its OK to get angry with God he can take it. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up your present. It's OK to let your children see you cry. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger. It's never to late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer. Burn candles, use the nice sheets, wear fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special. Over prepare, then go with the flow. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple. The most important sex organ is the brain. No one is in charge of your happiness. Frame every so-called disaster with these five words "in fives years, will this matter?' Always choose life. Forgive everyone everything. What other people think of you is none of your business. Time heals almost everything. Give time time. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does. Believe in miracles. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did you didn't do. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now. Growing old beats the alternative, dying young. Your children only get one childhood. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved. Get outside everyday. Miracles are waiting everywhere. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's we would grab ours back. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. The best is yet to come...
No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. Yield. Life isn't tied with a bow, but its still a gift.

*added by moi

You CHOOSE~Killing Me SOFTLY~Roberta Flack or Lauryn Hill?

Original Roberta Flack version  or Lauryn Hill & Fugees version.

Maxine and me , pink and black day

Enjoy,

Gina

Finally Got the YARDLady to Work~

It has been a hectic few days in the yard, finally got the slack-yardlady( moi), out to work in her garden. Nice posed shot above , taken by my son, before we got to work kicking some weed-behind in my garden.

 Let me tell you folks, it's not pretty...lookee here,

Yes, this is an actual picture of my weed-garden. Sick right, and there is more...

Terrible, downright embarrassing.

Yes, a gardener does live here, but one that should be fired.

Tisktisk, but I do have a few good excuses. See if you buy these..

Torn rotator cuffs, yes TWO torn rotator cuffs( shoulder injuries) , courtesy of Maxine , whose leash is glistening in the sun, and also from packing large heavy paintings.

2nd excuse, bad back.

3rd excuse, chronic hamstring injury.

Do any of those make you understand or feel sorry for me? If not, don't worry, you are in good company as my garden is FED up with me.

I knew it, my garden knew it, my soul/psyche knew it. I HAD to get crackin' out there. And I did.

Plus I was really smart and hired my Hercules older son to help me again.

Thank God for youth and muscles.

Now look at it...

Not many flowers yet, but weeded, and re-mulched. Sore back, sore hands, happier with garden.

Sarah's garden is up front, and do you see the sand-heart I made in there?

Made with the heart rocks from my porch, Edisto beach sand, which was our favorite place, and seashells from Edisto.

I will buy flowers soon for here.

Still considering a new fountain, don't like this one very much. The trumpet vine bloomed a few weeks ago, let me show you how it looked...

Happy trumpet vine over the arbor, which is being invaded by a climbing rose that I can't get rid of.

This climbing rose has been growing ever so secretly inside my trupetvine. I thought I got rid of it 3 years ago. It used to get black spot so bad that I dug it up and got rid of it. Or so I thought.

Roses are sneaky.

Sarah's front garden here has some decor that many would think tacky, but they are ' things' that make me think of her, or make me think she would smile. So in the garden they go. the EB on the sign is for Edisto Beach, a magnet decal they were sold out of when we went here last together. I told her we would get her one next time we went,as they were sold out that day. There was no next time.

Seize the moment people.

Nice.

Better.

On my hands and knees weeding this path for a long time, Maxine was bored, but happy I was outside.

Listened to my fountain trickling while I worked around it. Saw so many of my perennials coming up, good thing.

Birds were chirping and singing all around.

So much more to do, but less now than before.

More flowers I need to plant in all my planters, front and back.

 It was close to 85 degrees today, with high humidity. Not much fun outside working when it gets so hot.

My garden likes me more again though, I can tell.

later gators,

Gina