Saturday, February 13, 2010


My heart in my garden, covered with snow

We had an interesting weekend here in South Carolina, with the first snowstorm/snowfall in the last 7 years descended upon us. Whenever there is a chance of snow in the Deep South...mass hysteria follows.
Everyone runs to the grocery store to stock up.
Milk , eggs, wine , bread, cookies, whatever that family considers essential.
I decided to run out to my favorite Publix grocery store and bring along a cookbook full of soup recipes, I had chosen one , Chicken Tortellini soup, and I had decided I was going to make a big , gigantic batch of it to last us through the ' storm. "

I then went into Publix, got my cart, and laid my cookbook right down on top of my purse, wide open to my recipe while I shopped. I considered copying the recipe down, but it was long , and I said what the heck, I'll just bring my cookbook.
So I traipsed around the crowded store, trying to get everything for my double batch of soup. I had many people stop and slyly take a glance at what I was going to cook , I would just smile at them and keep shopping.
My favorite part of the trip was when I was getting my fresh zucchini, onions, and garlic...I was directly beside the Valentine's area , where all kinds of men , from all socio-economic classes were running in to grab their sweetheart some flowers or candy, balloons were being blown up as well. Lots of romance.
I am a romantic-sappy-terribly sappy woman, and I wanted to pull up a chair, and sit and watch all these men come and do this. I actually did watch them for awhile, so sweet and funny to see them fish through bouquets, grab balloons, rifle through candy. Hunting quickly for their show their love to them.
Then I remembered.
I had not gotten my husband anything from me for Valentine's because we had gotten into a big argument a few days ago, you know the BIG arguments couples can have, not the regular or medium size ones, but one of the BIG blow-out fights you can have.
So when I had gotten my kids some Valentines things, and my dad, I did BRIEFLY consider getting my husband one...but the anger and hurt was still there, and I did not get him one.
Deliberately did not get him one.
I then left the romance department of the grocery store, and on my way to the check-out...I spied the front of the store's card department, some Valentine's balloons were floating around...and I told my self," Be NICE, go pick out a card for him ! "
I prayed , asked God to help me as The FEELING was not there to get him a card. I know God wants us to demonstrate agape love, self-less love, what is in the best interests of the other love, loving when you don't FEEL like it.
HARD to do for someone who feels too much in general.
And I was making him a big batch of homemade delicious soup ( plus french bread and slice and bake chocolate chip cookies for dessert ), wasn't that enough God ?
Not quite. 
So I pushed my cart loaded down with items, made my way to the Valentine's section, and started looking.
I looked through about 25-30 cards.
Love of my Life card.
You are my greatest blessing card.
You are the perfect husband card.
You make my life wonderful card.
You are the most awesome man in the world card.
You are the most romantic man in the world card. 
You complete me card.
I would marry you all over again card.
I love you more than you know card.
On and on, and no and no for me.
If I did not FEEL 100 % or let's say 90 % like that towards him , then I was not going to buy him that card.
Also words are important to me, they MEAN something , so I could not figure out how to say these sentiments through a card, if I was not all the way in my heart behind them
Then after about 50 or more cards, no lie, I was taking FOREVER , I looked around at the store, looked back at the cards, and laughed at myself.
How ridiculous is it for a woman who is fast at most things, why is she taking forever finding her husband a card ? We have been married almost 29 years, he deserves a card ( plus soup ), plus a giant Hershey almond bar, right ?
So , I looked again, decided on a I love you, simple card , still laughing at how dumb I was behaving, grabbed a giant Hershey almond bar for him too, and pushed my way to the check-out.
Later that evening, while I made my soup , I was remembering that God loves us when we are not lovable, ALL The TIME
He gives us gifts and blessings when we least deserve them.
We can work on emulating that with someone we know we should love, but don't feel like it.
More working on my love-walk here.
Have hope, God is not finished with me yet.

My back garden covered in snow

Happy Valentines & Bless you and the ones you love,
" Love is patient and kind, Love is not envious, boastful or proud.. " ! Corinthians 13:4

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