Monday, December 5, 2011

A PINK Christmas Tree For SARAH~

I have been considering, since last Christmas, to have a special Christmas tree to honor my precious Sarah at the holiday time. Sarah liked the color pink, just as her big sister does, and so we went for a pink Christmas trees search today. We found this one at Walmart, a complete, artifical pre-lit tree,  all PINK. I had a hard time finding pink, a few other stores did not have that color. I had to have pink.

The ornament in the front, was made in 1994, my mother had that made for our tree. The one behind it, I found on eBay. I keep trying to find more Sarah ornaments, sometimes when you want something very badly, it is harder to get. Just out of reach.
This one is my favorite, she loved that her name meant Princess in Hebrew.
A glittery-silver dance shoe. She loved to dance, and boy she was a awesome dancer.
I am going to add to this tree every year, I am going to try to find a Britney Spears ornament, as when she was a teenager she idolized( to my chagrin), Britney. I am also going to put some pictures of her on some homemade ornaments . Looking at pictures of her, is very hard for me lately. It is almost as if I am stabbed in the heart when  I see her image.
I have also been rounding up some vintage Chalkware and plastic angels to place under the tree.
Plus disco-ball ornaments. Trying to add all the elements that make up my daughter, and cover a small pink difficult, yet comforting.

The S from her door as a child, that my young son found.

A snow baby.
A blue butterfly like I saw in Edisto Beach , the morning of July 12th, 2010, on my walk that Sarah and I always took.

A bracelet with her name, one of the items I search for often.
Here is a picture under the tree, of Sarah to the far left, my mother Sarah, me, and my oldest daughter in 2007 ( or 2006, can't remember exactly), at a birthday celebration for me. My mother died the following April 2008. Our Sarah in July 2010. She and Sarah are buried next to each other.
Here is one of my very favorite pictures of my children, minus our youngest son born 12 years later, on our old front porch steps. Sarah is in the middle, she was the baby of the family. They all are so precious.
Sparkily pink star.

More pictures beneath the tree. Sarah to the far left bottom picture. This picture was taken two weeks after my mother's unexpected death. A few days before my oldest's daughter's wedding. Life can knock us around  can't it ? The good with the bad, we have to take it as it comes. How God tries a human soul.

More vintage angels among the memories.
I added this post, to possibly help someone else who is grieving during the holiday time, to make themselves a tree, to remember and include their lost loved one in their holiday still. Whatever color tree...they make them in all colors, whatever style you choose, that represents their spirit. Include their name and hobbies, and likes. I plan to add to this every year. Being without my beautiful daughter in my life, it will be a year and a half since her death next month, is still a daily struggle. There is not incapacitating grief, it has changed to a deep, painful hurt, that is part of my soul. I know it is seen in my eyes, as I have had people tell me so. I also know, I have to find and show joy, to help my other family members still enjoy their lives.
Maybe you want to remember someone special, irreplaceable to you ,over the holidays. You can go buy yourself a little tree and decorate it with things they loved during their lifetime. This small action has helped me a little. I  walk pass this little pink tree in my home, and I smile thinking Sarah would have loved it.
Many blessings to you all, hug your loved ones, be thrilled and grateful to be able to gaze upon them, tell them you love them...every chance you get,