Sarah's Dream

I am a big dreamer, I dream all the time. Quite disconcerting and disruptive for quality of sleep time I can tell you.

But this post is about a dream that Sarah told me she had, about a month after her grandmother, my mother...whom Sarah was named after, died.  The two Sarahs in our family. It was another tragic part of our lives, my Mother had just turned 65, was planning on a big to-do Bridal shower for my oldest daughter, worked too hard in her garden areas...and died of a heart attack on a Saturday afternoon. 3 weeks before my oldest daughter's wedding, and right after her 49th wedding anniversary, she had just retired to spend more time with my Dad. She missed many big events of her life. We were all in shock, and Sarah was as devastated as us all, if not more.

The picture above is my two beautiful daughters at a Mother's day lunch for me a few months before her car crash. Bliss for me, I love to just look at my children, and enjoy their presence. Sarah is to the right.

Let me tell you the dream she had. She called me about a month after my Mother's death, and said she had a dream last night about Sazie. The grandkids all called her Sazie, a nickname her grandfather gave her as a child. Again, my mother's name was Sarah too.

I eagerly, yet also nervously , asked Sarah, what was her dream about ? I was feeling both emotions, as I was pretty tender inside over my mother's death, and did not want some weird/freaky dream about her to be related to me by my daughter.

Instead...this is what she told me..

She said that she was walking near a very large gate, with a large garden on the other side. She looked through the gate, or the gate door was open, I can't recall exactly...and she saw my mother , kneeling and tending a garden there. Sarah then said, Sazie jumped up, put her hands on her hips ( a family trait we share ), and said to Sarah , " Now what are you doing here ?" 

I then interrupted Sarah and asked, " What did she look like ?"

Sarah told me she looked younger, she had her hair up, my mother did not wear her hair up hardly ever ( except working outside in the Summer ), that she did not have her glasses on, and that she had a flowered shirt on and shorts. My mother never, ever wore shorts.

Sarah then said, " Oh,  and she looked really happy."

I remember crying hearing this, and then I asked Sarah, " Anything else ?" 

And Sarah told me she walked into the garden, through the gate, towards her grandmother.

And that was it.

After Sarah died last July, and after a few months of my mind in complete numbness...I recalled that conversation. I now view it as prophetic , and I believe where Sarah entered through the large gate, was Heaven. I dream and envision my Sarah running, like the wind up there. No sore feet from working long shifts as a waitress and running here on Earth with her friends for miles.

Running barefoot , running for miles, very happy on soft dirt roads.

I see her in my mind, running..and also holding babies and laughing and smiling at them. Those are the two activities I see her doing the most, in Heaven.

She was a bright, bright light in my life, and I miss her always, and continually.

Here is a song I heard in church today, one of my favorites.

Enjoy, and dream...

Gina

Know your SOURCE for Everything

 

Me and my biggest oil painting , came out of a restaurant 1940's

 

My husband came home last week and tells me he has a painting for me out in his workshop. He had gotten it from some clients ( he renovates ), and they were going to give it away. Maybe I could sell it he thought. I got excited, told him to get it out of his dusty workshop and bring it in.

He then goes out, and brings in, not a painting,

a GIANT Print of a painting. Not even a giclee', but a Pier One or Bombay company nice decorator PRINT.

I don't sell new PRINTS in my eBay store, so I showed him it was a print ( he still couldn't tell ), it had that nice faux brushstrokes to mimic a painting, but a definite new print.

So a no-go for me.

By the way, this print was 5 1/2 feet long by 3 1/2 feet wide. BIG.

I then thought of my youngest beloved daughter, she may want it.

She was over the house the next day, I show her the giant print, she goes ' Oh, I love that painting. " I explain it is a print, but she can have it if she wants. 

She says ' Sure. " The problem with all of this, is she lives in an apartment with 4 rooms, she only rents one, it is about 12 x 12 feet, and I have already given her a mirror, and three other prints. She has zero room for this giant print, and whenever she says she wants something, usually 6 months or so go by while I have to store it somewhere.

And with all my paintings, antique prints , etc. laying around, I have no room for a giant faux-designer print in my living room for 6 months.

Yes, I would have made room for  a giant original painting, IF it was a good one.

But not a decorator print.

A few days later, the mother of my son's best friend comes to pick up her son after a day of playing over here. She stands in the doorway, we chat, she sees the print, goes ," How Beautiful ! " 

I turn and look at it, explain it is not a painting, but a print ( this is a big deal to me, as I sell and only buy 100% original paintings ). She says she does not care, she loves it.
Then I had an idea.

Don't think I am terrible, as I figured my youngest beloved daughter would forget about it anyway, and I did call her and asked if she cared. 

She said she wanted it, but go ahead , give it to my friend.

So I call my friend ,and next time she is over dropping off her son, I help her load this big print into her van.

Then after I give it to my friend, my daughter texted me, " Do you still have the painting ?"

Why she's asking me this after she told me to go ahead and give it away , is what I am wondering. 

Probably fickleness is hereditary.

I text back, " No , gave it to so and so. She loves it. It was not a painting. "

Then it starts.

Let me give you the cast of two characters, Me ( the Source ), my daughter ( Her).

Here's how it ( the texting ) then progresses:

The Source:" Don't worry , your Mom is an art dealer. You'll be fine, "

Her: " But I wanted it. "

The Source: " It was only a print, your Mom is an art dealer ! I will get you an actual  painting when you have the room. "

Her: " I loved it."

The Source: " You will be fine, I promise I will get you something even better when the time is right. I am an art dealer , I will give you something better. Love u. "

Her: " Ok, Love u too. "

She finally grasped that I could do this for her. What I am just learning in the last year or so , is about My Source. I have a Source, someone who owns EVERYTHING. Who knows what I need, will get me something better than what I even think I need...when the time is right.

If He thinks I need it at all.

God is my Source for everything I need , want or can imagine.

He OWNS the Universe.

He is the  RICHEST entity in the World.

Nothing I have is mine, EVERYTHING belongs to Him. Nothing anyone else owns is really theirs , it all belongs to God.

He is my ONE Ultimate SOURCE.
He is ALL Our SOURCE.

He is our source for our talents and abilities, our needs and our wants.

I have to focus on that fact when times can be tough , emotional , physical, financial , wherever I get caught getting worried or stressed.

I meditate on the thought, that God IS in control, he will never leave me or forsake me.

He is our strength , confidence and courage source.

I hope you have a peaceful day,

Gina

" God having provided something better for us, that they should not be made perfect apart from us. " Hebrews 11:40