DOING IT Afraid

Been gone for awhile, to a place that used to bring me such joy...one of my happy places in life. Edisto Beach , South Carolina. We have had family vacations there for about 13-14 years now, a sleepy family beach, outside of Charleston , SC. Here we are looking out at the Intercoastal waterway, going across a bridge that is way too high for my comfort level. We had this trip planned all year, Sarah was supposed to go, and our youngest son and us. This is also where we were , happenstance, when we got the horrible call about her accident and death on a shorter spur of the moment trip last month. I did not want to go, not one tiny bit. But the trip was paid for, and our little boy loves this place...and he and his dad are beach buddies and constant companions while they are here.

My companion would not come here , ever again, and I was terrified, truthfully...to go back to this beach after I got that call when we were here. 

Again, I told my husband this...and he kept telling me we should go. Sarah LOVED Edisto , we should go.

So I was dragged, kicking and screaming and very afraid in my soul...on this trip. 

Doing it afraid.

Too soon.

Also, these pictures I am showing in this post are not of our trip in August, but the few pictures I took in July, the day before I got the phone call that destroyed my heart. THOSE pictures ( the ones from last week ),  are completely obliterated, 256 pictures on  my camera...sunsets, pictures of my husband and son biking, seashells I found, wave frolicking, crashing waves with beach umbrellas flapping in the wind, marsh pictures, alligator pictures, so many...all gone..in an instant. It appears I never FORMATTED my pictures on my digital camera, which means that all the pictures I took at Edisto became corrupted and unreadable, and I have lost them forever. This is how I felt after 5 hours yesterday and 4 hours today at the camera store trying to recover them. Just like this..

I had lost our entire vacation, one I didn't want to be at, but it was full of happy times between my husband and our little boy, and I was going to make him a special birthday book of their time there. I left the camera store and cried , just like I did on the way to our vacation. And did on most of the days of our vacation.
Stayed there afraid and sad.
And cried.
But stayed..if we had driven two separate cars like we used to do, I would have probably driven home , picked up Maxine at the vets and moped around the house with her. But my husband wanted us all together , so I was trapped into doing it afraid.'
I also know that my husband is awesome at play, but not so great at the day to day care of a young child...so I was needed.

Taking some pictures of my days started to help, for a short spell...and those are gone. So I have been quite a sullen, pout-puss of a woman today. Did not blame God for my pictures being deleted-corrupted...it was my fault. But did have many questions and soul-screaming sessions with Him while I was there. On my walks, at the beach, in the condo.
I'm sure many people jogging, walking or biking on the trails were wondering, " Why is that woman crying on her walk ?" 
I was despondent , and asking God many questions.
Why does He allow something, a life to be taken, and not stop it ? A life that had such potential, such joy ? A life that made my life worth living . A life that DESERVED to be lived.
Yet, He allows others less worthy to live a long and full life.
I know , the more mature Christians will tell me that she will have eternal life, much better than her life could be here. I wanted her to have both, just like you would want your children or grandchildren to have both.

He never answered me. Yet , I kept asking Him... still talk with Him daily. One way communication I feel. I feel He is there , possibly testing this very ungracious grieving mother...and observing me being a pain in the poototie.
I say ungracious, as I am not so sweet when I run into people on the street at home, or when they come to my door to offer condolences. The sweet-numb mother evolved into a leave me alone mother. I prefer solitude now. Hard for the typical Southern society here in South Carolina ...the heritage in the Deep South is to bring food and ' friendly-visiting ' expressions of condolence. All those drop-by and visit  before and after the funeral , wore me thin.


Switching days here...come with me to  a few weeks earlier.

I will end this entry with a cute trip the afternoon of July 11th, with me and my son at a vegetable stand outside of Edisto. Here I am getting some veggies for a salad I was going to make there that evening.

I love fresh veggies and charming off the road vegetable stands..stands with resident kitty cats.

Like this one.

As soon as we petted him, he fell off his shelf.

He landed just fine and kept wanting love.  That's how I want to be...wait, that's how I am.

Circling for additional love.

Behind my cat-loving son is a field of flowers they grow and sell here.
They make bouquets and sell them in front. 
Look...

I loved them. Don't you love them ?

We also saw some roosters outside of the vegi stand. Or bantam hens, I have no idea which they are.

I forgot to tell you there were homemade pies in the refrigerator case in the distance here. Key Lime ( which I love ) and blueberry which my husband loves..BUT..they were 15.00 a pie !! I said, ' No way. 'Cheap pie person here. We left pie-less, but bought tomatoes, onions, and potatoes..and fresh sweet corn.

We left  to head the additional 20 minutes to the island, the cat came out to say goodbye and get any residual love he could gather up. My son obliged.

 Off we go.

Since I do not have all my pictures to show you of draping Spanish moss walks and marshes and splashing oceans..I will have to figure out what to post about.


So glad you have hung in there with me on this trip,
bless you,
hug your kids tight tonight..kiss their sweet soft cheeks...love them strong,
Gina

A VIEW of Two BOUNCING Dollars in my REARVIEW Mirror

I had a lesson taught me by God the other day , through the vision of two bouncing dollar bills in my rear view mirror...and I hope I taught one to the two boys in my backseat that were clutching those dollar bills as well.

It was a mid-afternoon on a Sunday , my little boy had his favorite best  friend over , they both have the same name, so it is quite handy to have them together as I just need to yell one name to get them both to do anything or stop doing something. They had been playing for a few hours, they kept saying they did not want anything to eat...but after the third or fourth time that I said. " Let me get you a pizza, "they decided sure.

We all hopped in my car to go get the best deal around, a 5.00 pepperoni large pizza at Little Caesars. You can't beat that price with a stick I told them on the way there. Now when you go to these ' Always have it hot-and -ready " pizza places, you just walk in , pay your money, they hand you a pizza...and Poof, you're out FAST. I pulled right in front, turned in my seat and asked if they wanted to go get it themselves ? They looked at each other and said ' Yes. " So I handed them the 5.00 ( plus tax ), and they jumped out of the car and went in and got their pizza, I could see them through the large glass windows paying for it. Then they grabbed the big box, came running out to my car..and stopped and looked down.

Then I saw them bend over, hold up a dollar bill in their hand, I just saw one dollar bill...and they did a little dance and got in the back seat. I asked what did they find as I started to back up the car. They go , " A dollar ! "

I smiled, glanced at the car that had pulled up beside me while they were in there, considered the lady who had gotten out MAY have dropped it...then dismissed that thought thinking instead, or rationalizing instead that it could have been dropped awhile ago by someone else.

And besides...

I remember finding dollars or quarters ( that's when they were BIG money ) , and I remember how excited I was, so I wanted them to enjoy it.

But, then I saw...

Not 1 dollar bill in my rear view mirror clutched in a 9 year old's fist , but 2 one dollar bills , one clutched in EACH little fist ! I immediately asked them , " Did you guys find 2 dollars out there ?! "They gleefully said, " Yeah !"

I was still driving home, looked back in my rear view mirror at those two dollar bills, two happy faces, and knew what I needed to do ( after considering for too long ). I told them, " We have to go back and see if that lady dropped those getting out of her car."

I was about 1/2 mile away from the pizza place, and I know that they are FAST in there, and I was concerned we would miss the woman and not be able to give her back her money.

SO I did what had to be done.

I whipped the car through the neighboring K-Mart parking lot, went flying over the three big speed bumps, watching two dollar bills held high and bouncing in my backseat in my rear view mirror . I told the boys, " We have to hurry in case we miss her, she may need that money to get her pizza."

Quick turn onto the road back to Little Caesars, then I zip into the front parking place again, see the woman standing at the register still.

I turn back to the two little munchkins in my backseat, hold my palm out, tell them to give me their loot, they do with some reluctance..and I jump out and go inside.

I walk directly up to this woman, I say, " Excuse me, did you lose two dollars out there ?"

She turns to me, turns back to the cashier, then she points to the cashier and says, " I just told her I'm missing two dollars. "

I smiled, told her my son and his friend picked them up outside, and here there are.

She thanked me , and I went back to the car, smiled at the boys and said,
 "We were JUST IN TIME."

I then drove home, explaining to the boys that if they had lost two dollar bills, wouldn't they hope someone would find them and give the money back ?

They semi-agreed. Then looked down at their pizza in their laps and started talking about something else.

I sat there driving home, thinking God was trying to tell me , " You should have acted faster, you should not have even driven out of that parking lot before seeing if even a dollar belonged to someone. "

I know I often act or fail to act too slowly, reluctantly, to do the right action in life. To do the RIGHT thing , to be an example in even the smallest ways for those around us in doing what is RIGHT.

Many times, in many circumstances...daily. 

I told my husband this story later, He fussed at me for whipping through K-Mart's parking lot and speed bumps, and he also asked me " How did you know it was her two dollars ? " He figured anyone would say Yes it was theirs.

I said I just knew.

And I knew I HAD to show those two young boys to do the right thing in life , even when you don't feel like it.

Even if you may be too late.

I told them to remember this.

God probably gave me a B- on this lesson He taught me that day.

Many blessings, I hope you race to do right in your day,

Gina

" There is a way that seems right to a man, but it's end is the way of death. " Proverbs 14:12

Our SCARS Make Us More BEAUTIFUL

Our dog who thinks she is a cat ( tiger ), lounging on my little boy's lap

I was shipping some packages the other day at my local UPS store, when in walked in one of my son's friend's mom . She is a very pretty lady, slender, gentle demeanor, and I usually only see her with her sunglasses on. Today she reached over took them off and was talking to me about the upcoming baseball team.

Then I noticed...

She had a scar , right to the side of her eye , very evident , but what was fascinating to me, is it made her MORE attractive,

Beautiful.
I know I just kept staring at her , smiling inside at her beauty.

I have thought about that experience alot since then, how can a scar make someone ' more ' attractive ? How is that possible ? I pondered ( one of my biggest faults ), considered ( another fault ), and then prayed about it ( one of my strengths ). Nothing hit me immediately , until slowly , when I remembered her scar , I then thought of mine.

We all have scars, some are visible, or hidden , or internal. My outward scars are a nice chicken-pox scar on my forehead , a small faint scar on my inner thigh where when I was about 4-5 years old I played leap-frog with a fire-hydrant...and did not clear it. Got stitches for that one.

I am fortunate I do not have many scars from all my pregnancies ( 4 ), as that can typically scar women with evidence of their children in the womb , outwardly ,  for life.
I have a nice scar on my shin from tripping over a 70 lb. barrel of caulking compound my husband had in the wrong place , when I was rushing to get a load of laundry done one day. He got in trouble for that one.
Then I have internal scars, deep scars from situations, relationships, people that I trusted letting me down...and then I realize I have inflicted deep scars in return or randomly with acts of selfishness , decisions based on feelings alone, or additional rationalizations of autonomy .
So we can create scarred hearts in others , most of those can be visible through the eyes of the hurt.


Our outward scars usually fade with time, some never go away , and we learn to live with them or be self-conscious of them...forever.
Our inward scars are results of our own weaknesses or someone else's weaknesses...or more accurately sin. Our weaknesses are NOT our scars. The scars are the results or our weaknesses, addictions, urges, sins.
Scars are evidence of our humanity, our imperfection , our realness. They teach us about pain, they teach us that we can survive , they teach us that we are still beautiful,
because they teach us that we need God.
He is the salve for our hearts , our relationships, He sees our scars as marks of being alive...and still surviving.
He knows we are but dust .


Our scars reveal our vulnerability , they reveal a ' touch ' from life, usually a painful touch. They do make us more ' relate-able " , more real.
Less cool, more REAL.
Much more attractive.
Scars are also a bridge between two people that is a connecting bridge.
That bridge is made of empathy, and empathy is a vital part of love.
Being able to know that another person is NOT perfect, just like we are not.
That is my surmise on the beauty of a scar.

Remember God sees the heart, the inner man , bless you,
Gina

But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

Know your SOURCE for Everything

 

Me and my biggest oil painting , came out of a restaurant 1940's

 

My husband came home last week and tells me he has a painting for me out in his workshop. He had gotten it from some clients ( he renovates ), and they were going to give it away. Maybe I could sell it he thought. I got excited, told him to get it out of his dusty workshop and bring it in.

He then goes out, and brings in, not a painting,

a GIANT Print of a painting. Not even a giclee', but a Pier One or Bombay company nice decorator PRINT.

I don't sell new PRINTS in my eBay store, so I showed him it was a print ( he still couldn't tell ), it had that nice faux brushstrokes to mimic a painting, but a definite new print.

So a no-go for me.

By the way, this print was 5 1/2 feet long by 3 1/2 feet wide. BIG.

I then thought of my youngest beloved daughter, she may want it.

She was over the house the next day, I show her the giant print, she goes ' Oh, I love that painting. " I explain it is a print, but she can have it if she wants. 

She says ' Sure. " The problem with all of this, is she lives in an apartment with 4 rooms, she only rents one, it is about 12 x 12 feet, and I have already given her a mirror, and three other prints. She has zero room for this giant print, and whenever she says she wants something, usually 6 months or so go by while I have to store it somewhere.

And with all my paintings, antique prints , etc. laying around, I have no room for a giant faux-designer print in my living room for 6 months.

Yes, I would have made room for  a giant original painting, IF it was a good one.

But not a decorator print.

A few days later, the mother of my son's best friend comes to pick up her son after a day of playing over here. She stands in the doorway, we chat, she sees the print, goes ," How Beautiful ! " 

I turn and look at it, explain it is not a painting, but a print ( this is a big deal to me, as I sell and only buy 100% original paintings ). She says she does not care, she loves it.
Then I had an idea.

Don't think I am terrible, as I figured my youngest beloved daughter would forget about it anyway, and I did call her and asked if she cared. 

She said she wanted it, but go ahead , give it to my friend.

So I call my friend ,and next time she is over dropping off her son, I help her load this big print into her van.

Then after I give it to my friend, my daughter texted me, " Do you still have the painting ?"

Why she's asking me this after she told me to go ahead and give it away , is what I am wondering. 

Probably fickleness is hereditary.

I text back, " No , gave it to so and so. She loves it. It was not a painting. "

Then it starts.

Let me give you the cast of two characters, Me ( the Source ), my daughter ( Her).

Here's how it ( the texting ) then progresses:

The Source:" Don't worry , your Mom is an art dealer. You'll be fine, "

Her: " But I wanted it. "

The Source: " It was only a print, your Mom is an art dealer ! I will get you an actual  painting when you have the room. "

Her: " I loved it."

The Source: " You will be fine, I promise I will get you something even better when the time is right. I am an art dealer , I will give you something better. Love u. "

Her: " Ok, Love u too. "

She finally grasped that I could do this for her. What I am just learning in the last year or so , is about My Source. I have a Source, someone who owns EVERYTHING. Who knows what I need, will get me something better than what I even think I need...when the time is right.

If He thinks I need it at all.

God is my Source for everything I need , want or can imagine.

He OWNS the Universe.

He is the  RICHEST entity in the World.

Nothing I have is mine, EVERYTHING belongs to Him. Nothing anyone else owns is really theirs , it all belongs to God.

He is my ONE Ultimate SOURCE.
He is ALL Our SOURCE.

He is our source for our talents and abilities, our needs and our wants.

I have to focus on that fact when times can be tough , emotional , physical, financial , wherever I get caught getting worried or stressed.

I meditate on the thought, that God IS in control, he will never leave me or forsake me.

He is our strength , confidence and courage source.

I hope you have a peaceful day,

Gina

" God having provided something better for us, that they should not be made perfect apart from us. " Hebrews 11:40

LIFE is Really NOT All ABOUT Me....DARN !

 

I had something really goofy happen to me at the end of last Summer, something that made me realize how ridiculous and vain we all can be...but mainly me this time as I tell you what happened on my back porch.

I had been working in the yard, very hot late Summer day, hair put up, camisole top and shorts. Plus lots of sweat and dirt from my garden added to that ensemble.

I walked up to my back screen door, and I saw my reflection in an old 1930's mirror I had hanging by the door. I had put it there to reflect my yard back to me and so I can see my garden when I go in the house. Well, I glance at my reflection in the mirror , see an Ok-looking sweaty gardener-lady looking back at me...and open my screen door, still looking at myself...and,

WHAM !

  hit the door right into my forehead.

HARD.

I grabbed at my forehead, rubbed it , and then broke out laughing at myself ...

and felt God reminding me, " WHAM, it's not All about YOU Missy !" 

That admiring of myself got me good.

 My vanity had whopped me in the head too.

Now don't act like you wouldn't have looked at yourself in my mirror by my back door. Everyone looks in mirrors when we pass them, especially  if they are right in front of you. They reflect back all about YOU , and sometimes those ' mirrors' may not actually be mirrors, but the eyes of someone else, or the opinions of someone else , your worth in their words or their eyes...reflected back to you.

All of this ' looking ' at ourselves , pointing at ourselves with words or actions or dress...it is a ploy the devil loves to use to draw our attention away from God.

And on ourselves.

Me,

Myself,

and I.

And we are a pretty easy group here in America with all of the excessive ways we can now point to ourselves, and not point to God.

Facebook.

My Space.

Twitter.

blogs ( guilty ).

The media

Numerous other avenues for self-promotion and attention we have created, and more added yearly , are making US the main ' thang ' in our eyes.

In the Bible it warns about the ' end times' in 2 Timothy 3:1-4:

" But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come:

For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters. proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,unloving,unforgiving, slanderers,without self-control,brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong,haughty; lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God. "

I would venture to say without a smidgen of a doubt that is where we are today.

Again, awareness of all this SELF, ME , Over-indulgence can make us step back , and instead of magnifying ourselves so much,

magnify our magnificent God.

He alone is worthy .

Through our words, through our actions, through our work , and through our love.

Something to ponder for you today, be a blessing to just one person this week...

Make THEIR day.

Bless you ,

Gina

" For He know our frame; He remembers that we are dust. "

Psalm 103:14 

 

The PEOPLE Who LEAD Us to GOD vs The Ones Who DRAW Us Away

I heard something interesting the other day on the radio, I cannot recall who said it...Joyce Meyers, Charles Stanley, Chuck Swindoll...maybe some other preacher...but it was a comment that was telling who Christians should keep in their lives, and who we should not.

It was not an exclusive, meaning excluding some person as if we were ' better " , than they were. It was a comment that had to do with who we spend the majority of our lives around. Like our spouse, our friends...and more importantly, making us stop and consider who we allow to be close to us.

The statement was , " Do the people you associate with or want to be friends with , or consider to marry...do they draw you closer to God, or further away from God? '

The speaker then said , " That should be the biggest questions you ask yourself, for the rest of your life, because the right people in your life can encourage and keep you close to God."

And the wrong people in your life, can draw you AWAY from God.

Now this brings me to the car wash incident that happened with me and my little boy the other day.

Let me set the scene, car wash and oil change 29.95.

Great deal.

We go one day after I pick him up from school, I tell him to bring his backpack and his homework ( always way too much home work for a third-grader lately ), and we pull in...drop off my car...and go inside and sit and wait.

My little boy spies some Oreos for sale, I give him the money to go get them, he throws his backpack down...and I sit back in my chair with my Antiques & Art magazine...ready to relax for a bit.

But no.

Because I spy out of the corner of my eye...a salesman.

That set off my first defense mechanism.

He was walking around from customer to customer...giving them his business card and chatting for a few minutes.

He had a strong Northern accent , in a Southern car wash...which I thought was amusing. His hair was slicked back with something shiny, and he had a briefcase. 

I immediately did NOT want this man to come over to us.

My son comes back and rips open his cookies, while I keep watching over my magazine this salesman going around.

My defense mechanism, my quills , if I was a porcupine, were now in full alert mode.

He was getting closer to us.

I look down, start reading my magazine, figuring he will take the hint , and not come in my SPACE.

Not bother me or my son.

Not a chance.

Within just a few minutes, there he is , above my magazine, very politely asking me if I would take his card ? He replaces windshields in cars for free and he would appreciate me calling him and keeping his card if I ever needed that service.

He was about 1 foot too close to me and my son for my comfort level.

He had set foot in MY inner circle.

Guess what Ms. IMPERFECT Christian bad example for her son did ?

I looked up at him, no smile, you see he was physically in MY SPACE.

( I went to a therapist many years ago  that told me I was territorial, which she thought was fine...just how I was wired).

Anyway, I take his card, again feeling he is too close to me and my son, all defense mechanisms and postures ( as much posturing as a woman in  workout clothes and tennis shoes can project ), and I put the card in my purse, nodded at the man , he said thank you and walked off to someone else.

The ridiculous thing was I was the ONLY one that I saw that did not say Thank You back to him, or smile at him or be that sweet Southern polite person that is fairly common here in the South.

Nope, I was the one person, with the little gold cross around her neck...who did not want this man in her SPACE, to get close to her.

The other absolutely ridiculous point of all that is I was a terrible example to my son about how nice Christians are supposed to be to people. He saw , as he was watching too, that other people around us were fine with this man in their space, just not his Mom who likes to talk to him about God and Jesus all the time.

How we are supposed to be kind and polite and show love.

Again , God is up in heaven, wanted to thump me on the forehead and say, " Wake up Woman ! "

Getting back to the decision we have concerning who to allow to get close to us...I was off-kilter with this salesman...but in real life , the day to day choice of who I know or meet...do they draw me nearer to God or further away from God  is a sobering question.

My son trying to pull me over backwards at our State Fair

The other questions we need to ask ourselves is does that person inspire us to learn about God , do they make us consider the things of God, or do they make us consider the things of this world more ? 

Who do you allow to get close to you ?

Who are you willing to let in your very personal space ?

What kind of conversations do you have with this person ?

What kind of places do you go with this person  ?

What kind of thoughts do you have about them ?

So many questions we can ask ourselves about any person or circumstance or action that can draw us to God or far away from God. 

Letting that be a barometer is difficult , as Christians we are supposed to go where the sinners are ( and most Christians know that they are sinners as well ), and be with them and witness there.

This statement does not negate that we minister or associate for brief periods of time, or help someone who does not draw us close to God...because the act of ministering to their needs can draw us close to God. It is the habitual fellowship, or ' hanging-out ' , with un-believers that can draw us very far from God.

We are not as strong as Jesus was to dis-associate ourselves from the world's lusts and pleasures and people , to keep putting ourselves smack in the middle of sin and expecting to come out clean.

We are told to guard our hearts and minds , to stand strong.

I am trying to do this, and it is easier than I realized to discern who draws you close to God or further away from God.

The hard part is the actual ACT of putting it into action.

The lust of the flesh , of the world , is a hard , relentless adversary.

But now I can ask myself that question , and be aware.

Mrs. Territorial wishes you many blessings today,

Gina

" Hear my son and be wise; and guide your heart in the way. Do not mix with winebibbers, Or with gluttonous eaters of meat; For the drunkards and the glutton will come to poverty.." Proverbs 23:19-21

For MEN Only : What will be Your LEGACY ?

Sunset at Edisto Beach, SC

This may be an odd topic for a woman to write about , but it is something that has ' hit ' me when my husband came home about a year ago and said it was a topic of a Men's study series he was taking at church. One of the very few times I saw him get choked up, as it is truly a BIGGIE for men's souls. 

We have 4 children , 3 grown and out on their own and a late blessing , a little rowdy boy still at home with us. The topic in his study at church was, What will you leave behind of your life ? What will you teach your children ? What kind of example of marriage will you leave  them with ? Of your work ethic ?

What will they have , deep in their hearts and souls, part of you...to pass on to their children ?

What will be YOUR legacy ? 

Here in America, most men are struggling simply with either keeping their head and house above water...or working so hard to keep up with whomever they think they need to better...to one-up, that they are confusing their net worth with their worth to their God and their families.

Children have become too big of the focal point in most marriages that they eclipse most people's relationship with their spouse . The children's accomplishments and even their myriad of problems can suck the vitality out of the first priority God wants us to focus on, after our relationship with Him, is our relationship with our spouse.
Your wife is a gift from God.

So the first component of a man's legacy is the example of love and commitment he displays through good and especially bad times with his wife. Your children , your neighbors, your extended family, your co-workers and your friends, all watch how you treat your wife. How you talk about her when she is not around. What you look at when she is not around.

People notice, your children notice...and that example will be a big part of the legacy you leave one day.

The words , the actions, the gifts you give to her will guide your children in how to treat their wife or how a woman expects to be treated by a man.

Another component is what kind of father were ( are ) you ? The biggest example you have to look to is God, as He is all loving, forgiving , teaches us what is right and what is wrong,  and let's us learn from our mistakes...without always rescuing us right away. A Father needs to teach his children how to TAKE CARE of themselves , teach them how to do a task correctly...not perfectly, but to the best of THEIR ability. Don't be too hard on them when they are young , but also teach them responsibility.

We had 4 children , as I mentioned earlier, and probably the biggest benefit they received is us insisting they get a  PART-TIME JOB by the time they were 15. They did baby-sitting before that age, but afterward, they all were employed somewhere. It makes them accountable for their time, accountable for their money, and promotes personal responsibility.

Teach them to get to work on time, to dress appropriately, to be polite and  respectful of their bosses.

Then step back and let them succeed or fail at that job..on their own.

If they lose a job, and they will....ask them what they learned and tell them to get another job.

They eventually will figure out this is how the real world is.

You as Fathers will not be around forever, but your work ethic and balance of work and family will teach them how to be successful in whatever they do.

Daddy constantly paying for everything in a child's or young adult's life is a growth-inhibitor for their success. I have not known ANY really successful man ( or woman ), that did not have a job when they were still a teenager.

Another component of your legacy is a real biggie. So big it appears to scare most men , because I can honestly say I do not see this very much...even in  church.

Ready ?

Being the Spiritual leader in your home. Talking about God with your children, your wife, and finding a house of worship for your family. Not being the one that your wife has to drag to church, not being the one that rarely if ever mentions what God says to do in a situation in life . Buy a Bible , let your wife and children see you read it . Being the moral compass in today's world for your children, is getting harder and harder...every year.

Be discerning with what you allow your children, and yourself , to watch on TV or in the movies. Be discerning with who they hang out with, their language , what they read or what internet sites they post to ( and boy will it shock you what they start posting !).

Express your approval and your disapproval with their moral and ethical decisions..with love.

God can guide and support you here . Show them that God is IMPORTANT to you, and them. Tell them to pray , tell them when God answers your prayers, when God guides you.

Know your moral convictions, know what is right and what is wrong. 

Stand firm and stand STRONG , and teach your children this.

Another component to your legacy is what they see you put ' first '. For alot of men , this is work. Men need work, God made you to desire to work, to accomplish for your family . The problem with work today , is not simply that men are working to pay bills, but many are working to pad their egos. Women also do this, I know I did when I sold Real Estate many years ago.

The problem is all that time you devote for work , means less time for God and your family.
Balance your desire for work , with your desire for God and your family.

Your children will grow up in the blink of an eye, I can attest  to that unequivocally. They need you NOW, to support, encourage, and love them...love is the paramount quality of your legacy.

Your legacy, what is left of YOU when you are gone , should be rich with respect for God, love and respect for your wife, being a good steward of the money God showed you how to earn or blessed you with the ability to make, rich with love and encouraging words for your children ,and gratitude to God for how He has blessed you.

Speak these words to your family, don't simply be a silent witness with your actions.

Speak your love , demonstrate your love ...daily.

None of us knows how long we will be on this earth. That is a fact that becomes very hard and clear as we age.

But that fact alone can cause men to consider what legacy they want to leave their children...and the clearest way to do this is through the channel of love.

Look at your life backwards, and see where you want to end up.

Know that you can be one of the biggest blessings God ever gave to your children.

They will want to walk in your footsteps.

Stand Strong.

Bless you,

Gina

" Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, having done all, to stand. " Ephesians 6:13