Sunday, August 1, 2010

ALWAYS & Forever Wear Your SEATBELT Please

Sarah & her little brother at Edisto beach

 I feel as if I have been remiss in not telling everyone out there, to please, PLEASE -never, ever drive anywhere without wearing your seat belt. Our daughter died in a rollover accident, in the middle of the afternoon, took a curve onto a busy road about 30-35 miles an hour.
When we spoke to the police officer, and the coroner, they told us she was not wearing a seat belt, which when the car was in the accident , most likely over-corrected, resulted in her flipping( roll-over ) 2 to 3 times and being ejected from the car.
The only reason I am sharing this with you, and I have with all of her friends that I have been in touch with, is the haunting , terrible words the coroner told me.

" If she had been wearing her seat belt, she would have survived this, and would probably have walked away from the accident. "

His words made me heart-sick , still make me feel as if I have been punched in the stomach...over the irreversible consequences of the accident.
Even repeating that, over and over in my head, I am dumb-founded as she ALWAYS wore her seat belt. Even her friends remarked how good she was about that. I trained all our children to ALWAYS wear it, my husband has been the one in our family who is very bad about remembering his seat belt . He got a new truck a few years ago that has an annoying , ding-ding, until he puts it on. He is much better now.
I also knew my daughter texted too much in general, and when she drove.
I often told her NO texting when you drive, but her calls and texts were coming through until the end of her life.

She ran all the time, the picture above is of her and me coming back from a walk -run ( she ran ) at Edisto Beach, South Carolina, which we did twice a day there when we vacationed. Plus she was my No. 1 beach-walker companion.

My beautiful girl happily running, so full of life always. I remember her running  in front of me on my walks on vacation. She would hold her arms up in the air and twirl and sing when she ran. She was so funny.

I do not know why God allowed her to die that afternoon, some people believe we all have a set time to die. In the Bible there are many passages where God demonstrates that He gives us free will, to make our own choices. So I am struggling with the concept that it was ' just her time to go', as many Christians and even non-believers believe. Or the concept that she choose poorly, driving for some reason without buckling up, or she had un-done her seat belt to get something from her floorboard. Also she, like thousands of other young adults and teens are texting while they drive. Or jabbering away on cell phones. Young and old alike.
Maybe you, maybe your spouse, or children. 

So when I ask God, or wonder, why did He not send an angel to whisper in her ear, " Buckle-Up ". Why did he not send an angel, just one, though He can call legions of angels...why not just one, to scoop her up in the last seconds and save her ?
The only reply I get from Him , is :" I did. "

Which to me means He took her up to Heaven , but not rescued in this earthly realm to live her life out with us. To live a complete life here with marriage and children and family. When other well-meaning Christians tell me her life is so superior now in heaven, than down here on is not comforting to me.
I am simply the mother waiting at the front window for her daughter to come home safely.

I would have greatly , positively , strongly and unequivocally , preferred He chose the latter.

Please buckle-up, no excuses, no rushing.

I printed this in the hopes of possibly averting intense pain and sorrow for other families , as I can do nothing to save my baby girl now.

I will have a post soon about her garden's progress.


 "Thinkest thou that I cannot now pray to my Father, and he shall presently give me more than twelve legions of angels? " Matthew 26:53


 There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven—
A time to give birth and a time to die;  A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted.
A time to kill and a time to heal;  A time to tear down and a time to build up.
 A time to weep and a time to laugh;  A time to mourn and a time to dance.
 A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones;  A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing.
 A time to search and a time to give up as lost;  A time to keep and a time to throw away.  A time to tear apart and a time to sew together;  A time to be silent and a time to speak.  A time to love and a time to hate;  A time for war and a time for peace.
What profit is there to the worker from that in which he toils? 
Ecclesiastes 3:1-10


  1. Gina, I can imagine the back-and-forth that must go on in your mind and heart as you consider the "what-ifs" AND "whys".... You are taking your questions to the right Place. Keep asking. Keep listening. And keep using the opportunities He gives you to impress the importance of careful driving habits. I'm SO sorry about your HUGE loss. She was/and IS so beautiful.

  2. Oh Gina ~ How awful. DH and I were in an accident where a red light runner hit us. I was wearing my seat belt, he wasn't, and he got slammed around and ended up with cracked and banged ribs. He does now wear his seat belt.

    I think the texting and driving or talking on cell phones while driving is horribly dangerous.

    You are crying out to God, and He is speaking to you, and through you to all of us reading your heartfelt posts.

    Bless your heart. I love the pictures of Sarah.

    Your son is a real cutie.

    It is so wonderful to know that you and Sarah had such a loving, close relationship. That is priceless. It is good and healing to remember all those wonderful times you had together.

    Love and hugs ~ FlowerLady

  3. I want to wish you a lot of power sweetie for this great loss of your beautiful daughter .............She is in heaven close to our father, but oh so difficult for you.....She was and is so beautiful....And of course you wonder wh......., many blessings I continue to pray for you and your Ria....

  4. Gina,
    I couldn't possibley imagine. You just never know the struggles someone has been through... -- Randy

  5. Thankyou Gina for your honesty at the moment..although it must hurt so much. And for the ecclesiastes passage, one of my favorites to get me through this lovely life I've been given at times.

  6. For a while after my mother died, her sister had very vivid dreams about mum. Sisters can sometimes have that connection. I didn't have the sense to try find out the details at the time.

    The quote from E M Forster at the top of your blog is an interesting one. Taking the quote out of context, it could have two meanings.

    One meaning could be about death - giving up the life we had planned, etc. It can also refer to moments when our own lives are redirected into a new direction.

  7. I hope your message reaches many people. I know seat belts save lives. Most importantly, I hope you realize how blessed you are to have had such an amazing relationship with Sarah. May God be with you.

  8. Gina

    I hope someone sees this message today and acts on it. It must have been so hard to accept that statement from the coroner - I am just shocked at reading it.

    May the Lord help you to cope with your great loss and all those "what if" moments your mind goes through each hour of the day.

    ((Hugs))) Rosie

  9. Gina, I am so very sorry. There are no words I can say other than a reminder of the promise we have in our future in Him: "And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away" Rev. 21:4

  10. Montana believers have been praying for your family's comfort Gina, and Thou shalt wear thy sealtbelt is more than ever our "11th" commandment. Even still fresh in mourning, you are thinking of the welfare of others which reflects Christ in you so well.
    Peace and Comfort

  11. Gina, I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your daughter. I was on your blog today because I wanted to invite you to join our new social network for gardeners,

    You're garden is so beautiful and I think the community would love it! Plus you might find it nice to get to know other gardeners there. Let me know if you join!


  12. Gina, I was the reader that came upon your blog yesterday. This morning when I could not sleep, I was drawn back to your blog. Your relationship you had with your daughter is much like mine with my daughter. Please know this......She is living on through your website and this journal....Not only will it help be a part of your healing but so much more to others..... I do not know you, but I am praying for you from one mother to another.


I love comments , please leave one if you like. I try to respond to comments,but if I'm running behind, please know that I read each one before they are published. Thanks much, Gina