I think we all have habits , indulgences we wish we could stop or want to curb. I think often, since I'm getting wayyyy up in years, about the actions in life that I do, that have a marked affect on others around me. Especially my children, and other family members. Also , being a Christian, on observers watching me, and wondering about my faith.
If I have a glass of wine or two at a gathering, a dinner, at home, wherever.
Shown above is my very favorite item I bought in Charleston, at the downtown market Charleston Historic Foundation store. A beeuuttteeefull wine glass with scenes of Charleston all around it.
I love, and I mean LOVE, to drink wine out of this particular goblet. I can see my favorite city, all around when I bring it up to sip, it makes me happy. Plus my wine makes me happy. I am a fairly low tolerance drinker( aka-cheap drunk), as two glasses of wine, 2 1/2 max, makes me buzzy/zippy/relaxed. The problem that I have always had, is whenever I take a sip, I have seen, glance at me, watching me, ever so briefly... my children's eyes. Those eyes are older now, and my children, the adult ones, have made their own choices about drinking , and they mostly do.
But there has always, and I mean always, been a nagging feeling, telling me to stop drinking. I rationalize that I don't drink alot, but I do drink daily, and I can admit I drink not only to relax, but to celebrate and often to not feel pain inside. That last one is a poor reason, but is true.
I have also had a family member a few weeks ago, admit being an alcoholic, that in turn made me feel worse, responsible, and a poor example to them over the years.
So I gave myself a talking to, bounced it off my husband, ( have done this many times over the decades), and he says it is fine and easy to not drink. But he doesn't like my beautiful Charleston wine glasses as much as I do. And he's not a hyper/anxious/worry-wart like I am. And he doesn't cook big pots of homemade soup with a pretty wine glass beside him. He actually can drink way more than I can, but...
it's tougher for me to stop completely, as my basic personality is very habit-routine oriented. And I enjoy my glass(es) of wine immensely.
A fairly sissy wine drinker who drinks very sissy sweet wines. White Zinfandel, Riesling, Blush, etc.
But no more, not for 5 nights now.
First night I was pretty irritable, no pretty wine glass with my dinner.
Bummer. I was even irritable last night. So I subbed a pretty water glass I found above. It is nice, it is pretty, just not Charleston- scenic pretty. I called the gift shop and asked if they made my favorite ones in iced tea glasses, I know I saw Brandy tumblers, and the wine glasses, but no word back yet.
When I put them together to photograph them, I see they are almost the same size ! Appears I was drinking a large glass of wine, but I notice that most people drink out of the large and even the extra large goblets these days, compared to the 5 oz. old glasses ( measured mine and they go to about 8 ounces) that people used to drink from. I had to put my pretty goblets out of reach and I try not to look at them, as they make me want to fill them up and cook something or let them be a partner with my dinner plate.
So you see, I am trying to do what my conscience, my heart, has always told me I need to do. I foremost want to be a good example to my children. I have other reasons, and I am going to write more posts about this to help encourage anyone else who has thought about quitting drinking, even social drinking, totally, to do so. You may not be a raging alcoholic, drinking during the day, losing your job, destroying your relationships, but you may notice you don't feel right about drinking alcohol like you used to.
You may notice you drink more than you used to, you look forward to that glass of wine or beer a little too much, you don't like going out to a social event unless there is alcohol, you also plan your drinking times later in the day, make sure you have your wine, beer, or liquor available.
I think when all that starts to happen ( and many more), then alcohol, drinking, has a tighter grip on you than you want to admit to your own self.
What has been disturbing to me lately, are all the children's birthday parties with adults also drinking alcohol and partying alongside their 5 year olds. What is also disturbing are children's sporting end of the year parties for them with parents ( including me), drinking wine or beer with all of them swimming or playing around us.
Going to the beach and adults drinking beer or liquor all day watching their children play in the water. It is like the the 20-30-40 yr. olds group of parents ( not all, please know I am only talking about some ), think it is cool, acceptable, fun to party when they are with other children's parents and their kids.
That was unheard of even 20-30 years ago. Barbecues, neighborhood parties, yes, kids birthday parties/fuctions, no. At least to me. and my memory.
I mean, we all are an example to ones around us, and what we see in the mirror every day, is the first person we can change.
We'll see how I do, once I can get over my wine, I'll try to get over my whining,
which may ( will ) be harder to do.
Let me know your thoughts, take good care,
But he who doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and whatever is not from faith is sin. Romans. 14:23
Now we who are strong ought to be patient with the weaknesses of those who are not strong and must stop pleasing ourselves. Romans 15:1