Wasted LOVE

I had one of those experiences , or rather a conversation coupled with some mini-drama...with a older woman at a casual party the other day...the kind you don't forget. I am going to show you some of my last Charleston , South Carolina pictures that I forgot to include before...sort of randomly thrown in...between my recount of this love story.

So just know they are all from Charleston gardens.

Let me now tell you my sad , very real conversation I had with a neighbor of mine...about the man that loves her.

The woman I am talking about, let me describe her to you. Shorter grey hair, she is in her mid to late 70's I would say, and she has beautiful blue eyes, she is quite attractive. She lives in  a very expensive house , on the most expensive street in my neighborhood. I see her out walking her small dog often, and I also have seen for about 10 years, the man who is in love with her...out walking her small spoiled dog  too, on many occasions. He is very friendly, he told me years ago , when I first met him...that it wasn't his dog he was walking, and then he gestured towards her house...and said, " I am walking the woman's I am in love with dog.  I do anything for her."   He was balding, in his late 70's at that time, so I am guessing he is in his early to mid 80's or so now. He was pleasant and delightful. He had sparkling eyes when he smiled , that is what I remembered about him , and he smiled a lot.

Back to my conversation with the woman.
I started making small talk with her, about how I see her on my walks, and she looked at me, trying to recall me . I probably see her about 6-9 times a month, but I usually have Maxine with me, and I am wearing shorts...and I guess I am not very memorable to her. She stopped, looked directly at me again, and says, " I do believe I know you, yes. " I smile and talk about the juicy , sweet cantaloupe we are munching on, and then I point toward the man who is in love with her...as he is sitting outside at the party on a small brick wall talking to some children.

I tell her about the many times I have run into him walking her small dog, and that he said that he was walking the dog because he was in love with the owner of the dog--her.
I remember smiling at her.

She glanced over at him and smiled too, then quickly looked off in the distance again and started talking about how her husband died 10 years after they moved in to their home, she has been by herself for an additional 10 years...it is hard...and that the man who is in love with her, that he was one of her husband's best friends. That he fought in the Battle of the Bulge, that he loved children.

Then she went on for a bit about how she has been wanting to remarry for years.

I directly asked her, looking at the man in love with her on the brick wall...I say, " Why don't you marry him ? He is so in love with you. "

She answers me why , very quickly.

She says...and this just killed me, she says, " He has too much baggage, No..not him. " I asked her to explain ( I am not shy about asking much of anything ), and she goes on about some problem grown children of his , who use him . She also insinuated he did not have enough money to take care of her. This woman obviously expected to be spoiled materially , and to never worry about money.

I felt my heart grow so sad while she was talking. 

I wanted to take her by the shoulders and say to her, LOUDLY, " Listen, there is nothing, NOTHING more valuable than true love . It does not matter about the other people in his life , his problem grown children.  It does not matter if he does not have the means to keep up your lifestyle. You are both at the very, very last years of your lives...and you have been given the opportunity to have someone love you. For real, no falsehood attached, no ulterior motives , no hidden agendas. Wake up !"

But instead , I looked over at him, and let me tell you...he was watching us talk...and I could tell he knew we were talking about him. He was looking at her intently, and he was looking at her with a pleasant smile but sad, sad eyes.

It appeared not to faze her.

I also knew she was older, and I needed to be respectful to her.
I then told her that she was beautiful , and that I hope she had fun at the party. She looked at me, acknowledged that she was beautiful and said a mild thank you.

I then walked off to talk to someone else.

But that conversation, and that man's sad eyes for the woman he loved...that he will love until he dies...will haunt me . I'm certain she has made him feel, not quite good enough to marry her.

That his love for her, is not important enough to commit to him. 

That his love itself is not that important.

I am certain that he will not leave her, I see his car at her house every day.

I am certain that she has wasted a precious love in her life.
Something  precious and valuable that cannot be purchased , has no price.

I am certain that she has wasted love.

Bless you, I hope you do not waste love , I hope you appreciate the love you have, and the people that give it to you...and if by chance you are similar to this woman, and have someone that loves you madly...but you keep waiting for that special someone else to show up...just remember..they are probably right in front of you already, all along.
Wake up.

Gina

" And now faith, hope , and love abide , these three ; but the greatest of these is love. " I Corinthians 13:13

An Everyday TEST from GOD That I made a D- on...fer shure

I haven't written about a lesson God has taught me lately , as He does every single day. Most of the time, they are too embarrassing to relate...so I don't.
But I decided to stop my garden talk , and my art talks, for one today.

 I remembered last week, a lesson He taught me about being an example for Him, and about trusting Him. Each one, I blew it. 
Then I decided most people could relate to this...so let me tell you. 

It all started with me having a fairly semi-serious problem with my hip, pain when I walked , or even sitting, that had been going on for about...and do not think I am an idiot...for about a year. I am a rabid, obsessive walker..it is a form of therapy to me, I enjoy it . Time that I pray, listen to Christian radio , work out and relax.
I have no patience and I am a bad patient...deadly combo.

So I did not want to go see a doctor, and have him tell me I couldn't walk for such and such a time , for such and such a reason. 

That is until the pain was over-riding everything. So I called a specialist, had an appointment set , was wayyyy across town, in an area that I was unfamiliar with...and last Thursday I set off to find it.

With BAD directions from his receptionist...this highway, to that highway, this exit to that exit quick left, don't miss it...within 20 minutes I was lost.

And annoyed, irritated, anxious about the doctor's diagnosis,

just the PERFECT time for God to lay one on me,

or more likely allow me to show Him what I am like when the going get lost and late.

You know, when we all are either late, frazzled, tired, anxious , irritable...those are the times that the lessons on patience, obedience, trusting ...that all will be well, they just fly out the window.

Ok, back to Mrs. Late and Lost. I finally get in the correct direction ...after calling the doctors office ( and getting hung up on twice ) , at this point I am 25 minutes late for my appointment ( and I was supposed to be there 20 mins. early to fill out forms ). So I am  very late, and mad at myself.

then my little test showed up,

Or I should say my BIG test , like the one above, showed up...right to the right side of my car...while I was getting closer to actually finding my doctor's office. I was in a line of cars on the left side of the road, as the right side had road construction ...and additional jab at my tardiness , and I was scooting along at a snail's pace, now about 32 minutes late for my appointment. In my nice blue SUV, with my pretty Christian fish decal that says Jesus in the center , displayed on the back of my car.


Then this big guy pulls up beside me and puts on his blinker, very politely , hoping someone will let him in.
Would Mrs. Jesus -Fish on the back of her car let him in  ? 
No way, NO way ...I rationalized I was sooo late, and that truck would really be the final straw if anyone, much less me, let him in our line.
He just sat beside me...
while I pretended this mega-ton truck loaded with cars was not there.
While all this was going on, I felt like God was saying " Let him in, be an example for everyone around you for Me. "
And there I was, hands gripping the steering wheel, eyes watching the clock...and adamantly NOT letting this big rig in front of me.
I honestly thought God was going to stick His hand down from heaven, have a giant golden spatula ( I have watched too much Sponge Bob episodes with my son ), and flick that Jesus fish right off the back of my car and throw it in the street.

I mean, if He can part the Red Sea, raise people from the dead, feed thousands with a few loaves of bread and fish...then He would make sure I got to my appointment just fine.

But no, Mrs. Defiant kept right on the heels of the next car, and ignored Mr. Big Rig and she was on her way.
Recognizing I had been a bad example for God.


Long story short,  my diagnosis was I have a pretty bad pulled hamstring...won't bore you with the details...and another small accompanying problem, but if I heed my doctor's advice about slowing down, and more...then it may heal. 
So far, I have done about half of what he told me to do.
That is a higher percentage than what I did for God that day , per how He has told me to live.


Remember the times that are the hardest for you to be a good example, for your children, family, co-workers, total strangers. Whenever you feel especially like NOT doing the right thing....because you will be inconvenienced , 
that is the time we should do it for sure.
Those most inconvenient times, are ripe for lessons from God. 


It is a hot day in the Deep South here, mid 90's at present, hope your day is good and productive,
Gina


P.S.

Lesson noted, that is the only reason I believe God gave me a D- and not an  F on my be nice to the big Rig , because I am aware that God could have taught me to trust Him that day. Also, my kindness to the trucker, would have been worth missing my appointment anyway.

" And which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature ? If you are not able to do the least , why are you anxious for the rest ? ...." Do not fear little flock ,for it is Your Father's great pleasure to give you the kingdom . " Luke 12:25,26, 32

The PEOPLE Who LEAD Us to GOD vs The Ones Who DRAW Us Away

I heard something interesting the other day on the radio, I cannot recall who said it...Joyce Meyers, Charles Stanley, Chuck Swindoll...maybe some other preacher...but it was a comment that was telling who Christians should keep in their lives, and who we should not.

It was not an exclusive, meaning excluding some person as if we were ' better " , than they were. It was a comment that had to do with who we spend the majority of our lives around. Like our spouse, our friends...and more importantly, making us stop and consider who we allow to be close to us.

The statement was , " Do the people you associate with or want to be friends with , or consider to marry...do they draw you closer to God, or further away from God? '

The speaker then said , " That should be the biggest questions you ask yourself, for the rest of your life, because the right people in your life can encourage and keep you close to God."

And the wrong people in your life, can draw you AWAY from God.

Now this brings me to the car wash incident that happened with me and my little boy the other day.

Let me set the scene, car wash and oil change 29.95.

Great deal.

We go one day after I pick him up from school, I tell him to bring his backpack and his homework ( always way too much home work for a third-grader lately ), and we pull in...drop off my car...and go inside and sit and wait.

My little boy spies some Oreos for sale, I give him the money to go get them, he throws his backpack down...and I sit back in my chair with my Antiques & Art magazine...ready to relax for a bit.

But no.

Because I spy out of the corner of my eye...a salesman.

That set off my first defense mechanism.

He was walking around from customer to customer...giving them his business card and chatting for a few minutes.

He had a strong Northern accent , in a Southern car wash...which I thought was amusing. His hair was slicked back with something shiny, and he had a briefcase. 

I immediately did NOT want this man to come over to us.

My son comes back and rips open his cookies, while I keep watching over my magazine this salesman going around.

My defense mechanism, my quills , if I was a porcupine, were now in full alert mode.

He was getting closer to us.

I look down, start reading my magazine, figuring he will take the hint , and not come in my SPACE.

Not bother me or my son.

Not a chance.

Within just a few minutes, there he is , above my magazine, very politely asking me if I would take his card ? He replaces windshields in cars for free and he would appreciate me calling him and keeping his card if I ever needed that service.

He was about 1 foot too close to me and my son for my comfort level.

He had set foot in MY inner circle.

Guess what Ms. IMPERFECT Christian bad example for her son did ?

I looked up at him, no smile, you see he was physically in MY SPACE.

( I went to a therapist many years ago  that told me I was territorial, which she thought was fine...just how I was wired).

Anyway, I take his card, again feeling he is too close to me and my son, all defense mechanisms and postures ( as much posturing as a woman in  workout clothes and tennis shoes can project ), and I put the card in my purse, nodded at the man , he said thank you and walked off to someone else.

The ridiculous thing was I was the ONLY one that I saw that did not say Thank You back to him, or smile at him or be that sweet Southern polite person that is fairly common here in the South.

Nope, I was the one person, with the little gold cross around her neck...who did not want this man in her SPACE, to get close to her.

The other absolutely ridiculous point of all that is I was a terrible example to my son about how nice Christians are supposed to be to people. He saw , as he was watching too, that other people around us were fine with this man in their space, just not his Mom who likes to talk to him about God and Jesus all the time.

How we are supposed to be kind and polite and show love.

Again , God is up in heaven, wanted to thump me on the forehead and say, " Wake up Woman ! "

Getting back to the decision we have concerning who to allow to get close to us...I was off-kilter with this salesman...but in real life , the day to day choice of who I know or meet...do they draw me nearer to God or further away from God  is a sobering question.

My son trying to pull me over backwards at our State Fair

The other questions we need to ask ourselves is does that person inspire us to learn about God , do they make us consider the things of God, or do they make us consider the things of this world more ? 

Who do you allow to get close to you ?

Who are you willing to let in your very personal space ?

What kind of conversations do you have with this person ?

What kind of places do you go with this person  ?

What kind of thoughts do you have about them ?

So many questions we can ask ourselves about any person or circumstance or action that can draw us to God or far away from God. 

Letting that be a barometer is difficult , as Christians we are supposed to go where the sinners are ( and most Christians know that they are sinners as well ), and be with them and witness there.

This statement does not negate that we minister or associate for brief periods of time, or help someone who does not draw us close to God...because the act of ministering to their needs can draw us close to God. It is the habitual fellowship, or ' hanging-out ' , with un-believers that can draw us very far from God.

We are not as strong as Jesus was to dis-associate ourselves from the world's lusts and pleasures and people , to keep putting ourselves smack in the middle of sin and expecting to come out clean.

We are told to guard our hearts and minds , to stand strong.

I am trying to do this, and it is easier than I realized to discern who draws you close to God or further away from God.

The hard part is the actual ACT of putting it into action.

The lust of the flesh , of the world , is a hard , relentless adversary.

But now I can ask myself that question , and be aware.

Mrs. Territorial wishes you many blessings today,

Gina

" Hear my son and be wise; and guide your heart in the way. Do not mix with winebibbers, Or with gluttonous eaters of meat; For the drunkards and the glutton will come to poverty.." Proverbs 23:19-21

Discipline vs the BULL in the FIELD

Watch out

When I was a young girl in Texas, I used to visit my grandparents in Bandera, Texas quite often. I had two sets there, my well-off set, and my much less well-off set. One lived in a very nice, well -decorated expensive home, ...and the other set lived out in the country in a small wood house . I loved them all very much, but always preferred to spend the night out in the small country house with the tin roof, and the large acres of land and Hills in the distance.

 My grandfather, Papa, had some sheep and chickens, a few cows roaming around in a fenced off area beside the house....plus there was a small barn/chicken house/food shed combo to the far end of the area.
I would get the feed and help him feed all his animals.

That small barn was directly in front of another fenced off area, leading to vast acres of pastures.

That is where I chose to be very disobedient.

Happily.

Smugly.

Secretly.

I went in one day when my grandmother was cooking something in a giant iron skillet on the stove. I asked her about the cows in the big open field behind the small barn back there. I thought they maybe were their cows, I was about 9-11 years old . She wiped her hands on her apron, looked at me...by the way...she was one TOUGH-cookie of a woman, and said, " Those are our neighbor's cows, but don't go over there as there is one mean BULL in that field. "

Well, apparently that was all it took,

for my first big un-disciplined moment to take flight.

I said , "Ok. "

Turned, went flying ( I was always running when I was young ), hit the back screen door hard ,  running out to the field.

Then I went to the back wire fence behind the shed, I cannot recall if it had barbed wire, most of their property did, but I do recall that it did not seem to matter to me.

Gina was going to do what Gina WANTED to do.
No matter.

Which meant climbing that fence, and laying down in the soft , tall grass, and watch the cows in that field.

No matter that someone who knew better than me warned me, no matter that I knew she loved me and was a very smart woman.

No Matter.

I do recall her warning, but the pull of the field called me softly, it was a Texas wind blowing...a sunny day...and I climbed that fence fast...and went and laid down behind the shed in the grass.
I deliberately laid behind the shed so they could not see me from the house.

You know how children lay in the grass, no care about getting dirty, no care what will crawl in their hair...so I remember distinctly, laying back with my arms behind my head, looking up through the limbs of a small tree,

Up in to the beautiful sky.

I told myself to remember this moment, I have always done that since I was even younger ( and still today ), and I was blissfully happy.

And SMUG.

I knew my grandmother could not see me back here, it was a cool, secret spot that was mine and  I could do what I wanted and not be seen.

I was one cool kid.

Then her words came back to me.

One MEAN Bull.
Now for my tough grandmother who once killed a barn rat with one hand while she was milking... ( kept milking and then shook him out of her overalls)...and barn rats are as big as some cats...then I knew he really had to be REALLY mean.

So I looked up at the field, with one eye open...as I was still in my blissful moment...and guess what ?

There he was , a pretty good distance away from me...grazing.
Then he stopped and looked up at me.
I sat up a little straighter, opened both eyes...and looked at him too.
Small warning signals were going off in my young brain, but I did not move, get scared...or run and jump the fence to safety behind me.
Nope.
I sat and watched that bull for a few minutes, looked around at the field we were in...and then got cocky and laid back and closed my eyes.
A few minutes went by, I opened one eye again , and looked back at him.
He was a little closer this time.
Still, young and dumb , laid back and closed her eyes again.
No matter.

I then opened my eyes,  looked up at the beautiful big sky and clouds, glanced back at him ... now he was grazing a little closer now to me. I was still a good distance from him , and for some reason , I do not recall...( probably God ), I got up, brushed the grass off me, smiled at the bull and jumped the fence back to definite safety.
I think often about that bull in the field, because I struggle with discipline, discipline in doing EXACTLY what God instructs us to do in almost all circumstances in life. He tells us in un-compromising clarity, do this, don't do that.
Stay away from this, reach for that instead.
Run to the safety of His protection.
He knows what is good for us, he only wants what is best for us.
But I know there are things in my life that remind me of that bull.
Things or situations I get close to , things I KNOW God tells me to stay away from, fields ( sins ), I should stay OUT of.
So when I remember that time in my life, and I can still see that bull in my mind , God seems to want me to remember it , for the lesson it can teach me.
To not even CONSIDER the thought of ' jumping over a fence '.

The lesson of listening to God, to strive to be a much more disciplined Christian.
To study and learn what He says for all our lives.

To learn to completely, absolutely and resolutely TRUST Him.

I need to know deep in my heart and soul that God truly, really,  knows what is best.
I hope your day is good, I hope you can stay away from the ' bulls' in your life , I hope you
 Don't jump that fence for God's sake alone.

Bless you,
Gina



" Your word is a lamp for my feet and a light for my path. " Psalm 119:105

SHOWDOWN at the TARGET Corral

Me and my son's favorite store

A few weeks ago, my little boy came up to me on a Saturday morning, stands at a distance from me..and asks , " Can we go to Target ?'.

This was unusual for him, he goes if I ask him, but he typically does not ask me. I ask, " Why ?'

He looks down at his Superman wallet in his hand, fingers through his dollars, and asks if he can go buy a giant Nerf gun he found in the Target Christmas catalog.I had seen him rifling through that little catalog, with all the coupons for weeks...and I told him he does not need anything because his birthday and Christmas are very soon.

He is turn explains that he has enough money, exactly 35.00 to buy a GIANT nerf gun , can he pleeaassee ?

I debated with him that 35.00 is alot of money, especially for an 8 year old.

Then I sat there and looked at him, think I am going to say No again, then decide I will take him and his superman wallet full of cash to get his treasure.

I know God gives me things when I do not really need them, so I can allow this too , I surmise.

I tell him to go cut out his 5.00 coupon out of the catalog , for the correct gun...and we take off with all that we needed.

NOT.

As I found out, but let me explain the process.

We get to Target, it is one of our favorite stores that seems to have everything any one or twenty people can ever need or want. We head back to the back of the store and the toy department. 

The we see it, the Largest Full-Auto Nerf Blaster Vulcan EBF-25.

The treasure of a 8 year old

The box is almost 3 feet long, heavy and we did not have a cart so we both carried it all the way to the front of the store. Stand in line, place it on the counter...my little boy is getting more excited. The cashier rings it up, tells us it is 39.95. I look at my son, tell him to hand her his 5.00 off coupon. He reaches in his wallet, pulls it out, hands it to her...she scans it. Over and over she scans it.

Zilch.

Nada, nothing.

No discount.

She looks at it again, and calls a manager. They look at it and go , " Oh, you cut the numbers off under the bar code. " 

I look at the coupon , look at my son, and tell then we will be back.

He almost starts crying, I reassure him the whole way home...no problem...we will find the numbers, tape them on..and get back today to buy it.

We get home, rummage through the trash..I do scold him a little for cutting off the numbers but only to make him aware of it so he won't do it again. It was so tiny, but we tape it back on...he is all smiles..and we head back to Target.

We go back in, get a cart this time...and head back to get another gun. We load that big thing in a cart, smiling ...we head back to the cashier.

We have his gun, we have his cash and his coupon !

All is perfect.

Not.

The cashier pulls the large nerf gun through, my little boy hands her is coupon...his superman wallet is open with his little fingers ready to hand her all his cashola...when the horrible words came...after she ran the coupon.

" This won't work." 

By this time a man comes behind us in line , I mildly smile at him but he then gets the pleasure  of hearing me tell her she better get her manager.

Dreaded words no one likes to hear the person in front of you say in line.

My son was getting his discount from their stupid coupon if it was the last thing I did that day.

A manager is called, she gets there, runs the coupon while I explain to her about this being our second trip, all the trouble, etc. The manager runs the coupon, the man starts getting a little antsy behind me...and she goes,
" We can't use this, the very last TINY number is missing, it is invalid. "

I told her, " No way, " nodded my head at my little boy , still holding open his Superman wallet...and said , " He is getting his 5.00 off. "

The manager then gets a bit huffy ( can't imagine why ), and says there is nothing she can do.

I get equally huffy...tell her I am POSITIVE she can, ask her if she has a code she can use, ask her if she has any catalogs in the back with more coupons ? She just stands there and says, " Nope. " 

By this point the man behind me wants to give me the 5.00...I hold up my hand and say . "No, thanks."

I then turn to the manager and ask to speak to a manager. She retorts SHE is the manager.

I then get huffier and ask to speak to HER manager, the head store manager. 

During all this last huffiness, the cashier is rummaging through her drawer in front of her, picks up a CATALOG, cuts out the coupon and uses it for the sale.

I stood there in disbelief, the WHOLE time this cashier has a catalog.

My son hands over his 35.00, the man behind me gets a little happier, and I help my little boy carry it...but only half-way to the car,  as he was showing shoppers how strong he was to carry this giant gun.

I get in the car with a smiling 8 year old boy, and I tell him," You know what lesson that should teach you ?'

He says, " Be careful clipping coupons . "

I say yes, but also do not be AFRAID to stand up for what is RIGHT in this world. Do not back down , that God gives us power through the Holy Spirit , to stand strong for what is right.

He just looks down at his gun and smiles.

At home with his awesome gun

 

I'll bet also when we head back to Target they will see me coming and turn on the red lights in the back office area...Red alert..here comes Trouble.

Such is life.

I hope you have courage to always stand up for what's right, and always stand up for ' The little guy ' in this world who cannot stand up for himself.

God is our enabler, Jesus is our advocate.

Many blessings,

Gina

" And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, the He may abide in you forever--

The Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither knows Him; for He dwells with you and will be in you. "

John 14:16,17

Who REALLY Sees The REAL You ?

Hunting Art

I had a funny recollection the other day of a time when someone saw the real me. The me that I really don't want anyone to see...the one we all hide from the world most of the time.

The one God always sees first.

I had come back from an early morning walk late this summer, was sitting at my computer doing some eBay work...when I heard the doorbell ring, I looked up...I had not heard a car...and saw my daughter's car out in the driveway. This was my oldest daughter's car, she had only been home every now and then as she was finishing off her last year at law school. I was so happy she had come over ! I ran to the door, opened it quickly and said " Well HI !!!", with a big smile.

But to my utter horror , and shock ( most men will not understand this but the women will ,so bear with me), it was NOT my daughter but a good friend who used to be my Broker-in-Charge when I sold real estate. He stops by to visit with me every now and then , he is always dressed perfectly, button up shirt, tie, dress slacks. Plus he has always seen me at the office in nice clothes ( when I was a Realtor) , MAKE-UP on, looking sharp, well- groomed so to speak.

NOT this time.

Let's get back to my front porch...I see that it is him ( found out he was driving one of his kid's car that day ), I realize I am in running shorts, tank shirt, tennis shoes, NO MAKE-UP ( my biggest upset ), and I react like Dracula does in the movies  when he is exposed to sunlight --by screaming,  and covering my face, as if the light was blinding me. I then ramble on that I have no make-up on, I had just gotten back from a walk, I would NEVER had opened the door if I knew it was him , still covering my face with my hands, on and off.

He just stands there like I had lost all my marbles.

I then go on and on ( AGAIN ) , about how I would not have even opened the door if I knew it was him ( bet that made him feel good ), and I thought he was my daughter.

He just keeps looking at me like I am NUTS , with his well-pressed clothes on and his squezzie red real estate ball in his hand that he had brought for me with his name on it.

I then bend over, cover up my face again... and start laughing like crazy.
At myself.

Bet I made his day.

He then tries to tell me he had just come by to say, " Hi "..and hands me his squeezie ball , chats for a bit and leaves.

I told my husband this story later that day and he told me that I look fine with no make-up, I never need to wear any, and I am goofy ( he is too kind ).
I talked to him , my ex-broker on the phone yesterday about this incident...he pauses for a long time, like he doesn't remember...then he goes, " Oh YEAH, when you pitched a fit on your porch. " 
Wow, what an impression I left him with , very accurate ( I truthfully had hoped he  had forgotten it).
Blew my cover.

We then discussed how people change themselves, change their masks, for whatever crowd they are in at that time.

The truth is we ALL wear different masks, different faces to various people we encounter in our lives.
Sometimes we are the person we want to be, kind...solicitous, concerned,friendly , ready to help. Then we are the aggressive, or assertive gung-ho person that we want to project to make someone believe we are on top of what ever needs to be on top of. Then we put on our charming , 'everything is great' mask.
I think we have a happy mask, a pouty mask, a mad mask, a sexy mask,  a righteous mask, a ' no-problem' mask , an intelligent mask, the successful mask, the perfect family man or woman mask, a religious mask...on and on with all our handy disguises.
I think it is the REAL you, the authentic, genuine you...that may be the hardest thing to reveal.
It makes you vulnerable.
It can show your weaknesses and your strengths.
It can be scary to you and others.
It can reveal what you are hiding.
It may be what you are really NOT...to others.
You may feel it is not enough.

God sees us, all of us...no make-up, no shaved faces and combed hair.
He sees our hearts, He sees our motives, our desires.
So after you take your shower, when you come up to the mirror and wipe away the steam from it...and you look at yourself...
What do you see ?
I am not talking about the surface vision, what do you see inside ?
If you are pleased with your inner reflection, then you must be doing something right. If you are not...ask God how to show you to be more genuine, more you...less show, less bravado, less fake,  and more
REAL.
Stop being who you think everyone wants you to be , and simply be YOU.

GOD created you for a purpose, you are wonderfully made , He treasures each of us. I do not think He can use us in this world if we are not who we really are.
No put-ons, no pretense , no more falseness.
No more phoney-baloney.

This all starts with honesty and prayer. Work on what you do not like in yourself, praise God for what you do...as it all is from Him that is good and fruitful.
I know that I have lived long enough now to know that many people are NOT what they appear to be, NOT what they pretend to be, and NOT what they really  project to their family, co-workers, church members, or world. They are made up of words and busy-ness , lots of ' fluff' and less of what their spirit, their inner core of who they really are , contains.

Noticing this, makes me in turn... want to be MORE real .
I believe that is the only way God can use us , if we really are who we appear to be.
The REAL deal.
Genuine.
Authentic.
The TRUE you.


God made you for a purpose...and He can only use the ORIGINAL you that He created.



Bless you today,
Gina

"All is Vanity. " Ecclesiastes 12:8