Sunday, December 13, 2009

This ' DYING to SELF ' is about To KILL Me

In the Bible, where it says," I affirm , by the boasting in you which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, die daily." 1 Corinthians 15:31, made me again feel like I am missing the mark as a Christian.
We are supposed to die to our present lives, our sinful nature , and become more Christ-like. That means being less selfish ( guilty), less concerned with my needs over other's needs ( guilty ), and being a servant to our fellow man ( guilty ). It also means that we are supposed to put aside our wants and desires, even ' needs' , and allow God to show us what is best for us.
That made me think of our beautiful, goofy dog and her chocolate-chip muffin obsession.
Every school day morning I make my son chocolate chip muffins ( I sneak an egg & milk in them as he won't touch either normally), and I put them in his lunch box with his lunch. Every morning our black lab stands there and watches me and hopes quite earnestly, that THIS is the morning I will accidentally drop a muffin,
So she can eat it.
She has done this for 4 years straight.
No dropped muffins, but that does not deter her yet.
She just looks at me, waiting.
Just like we do with God, waiting for our prayers to be answered.
Now I know she does not NEED that muffin, she only THINKS in her little brain that she needs it...but she wants it SO bad...and I just look at her and know that I am not going to give her one. She looks at me while I'm stirring the batter, she looks at me while I put them in the pan, she looks at me when the timer goes off and they are ready.
She looks , hopes, and DROOLS.
She has no idea that they are NOT necessary for her life, they are not good for dogs, I have something better for her soon...she wants them NOW.
She NEEDS them. 
Just like we look to God.
We are like that , we want what we want when we see it, think about it, and we do not understand why GOD does not give it to us.
Now some things , sinful things, we KNOW why He does not allow us to grasp...or if we do , then He speaks to us in that still small voice, " Stop, turn back, that is not necessary for your happiness or your life. "
But many of us, still kicking and screaming ( or whining ), say back to God,
" But this or that is IMPORTANT, NECESSARY, I NEED it. "
Just like my dog , we do not understand WHY ?
But some things that are not sinful, simply OUR dreams and hopes, our needs...He allows to either put on hold or allow to never happen. 
That predicament can cause us to not trust God, not know for certain that He hears us.
 We also can ignore God if we cannot mentally figure out why He wants us to do something other than what we want to do or not do.
Jesus explains it to His disciples:
"Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it produces much grain. He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life." John 12:24-25
So we are supposed to put aside, place in second , our hopes, dreams and desires and let God's glory be paramount.
To do this, we have to learn, through reading the Bible and lots of prayer, that God's plan for our lives is far superior to our plans.
His vision, far superior than ours.
His purpose is far superior than our own comfort,
as the development of our character, to be more like Him,
will bring us the greatest joy ,
Our timeline, is usually not God's timeline, and that is where the trust factor comes into play.
Trusting God has always been a big challenge for me. I am a stubborn, strong-willed woman who does not want anyone in charge of my life but me.
Even God.
That mindset has to change if I am to grow into the Woman God wants me to be,
That He knows I can be.
That He can use.
I just need to die to self daily, bite my tongue more, put other's needs above my own more, and watch for more opportunities to bless. Saying that, is easier to say than to do. The easier thing to do in most circumstances is to take care of yourself first, to oftentimes NOT put others needs before yours.
Selfishness, ME-mentality reins in the World.
Gonna shake myself up and out of that pattern.
I will write more about my attempts to learn to trust God in other articles,
I hope you grow in your spiritual journey and learn more about God this week,

Miss Spoiled rotten Black Lab
" Living for Jesus a life that is true, Striving to please Him in all that I do; Yielding allegiance, glad-hearted and free, This is the pathway of blessing for me. "
Hymn by Thomas O. Chisholm
early 1900's