A Strawberry Heart Morning

Good morning to all, or evening ...wherever you are in the world ! I had somethings so neat happen to me this morning, I had to write and share it. I was making my husband a bowl of cereal this morning...

Wait, 

Let me tell you first about my grandmother. Because this ties in to my story. My father's mother, my grandmother we called Mudder ( German for Mother I believe ), she was a tough Texas woman , I am originally from Texas...and she ran a farm and a small ranch, she sewed, had her own small nursery also. She was not afraid of hard work, and she raised 5 children with my grandfather that was a foreman for a power company. 

Anyway, she was super smart, always reading..constantly reading, and she spoiled my grandfather by getting up at 4:30 AM to make him breakfast before he went to work.

EVERY Morning.

She told me, in a phone conversation when I was just 20 yrs. old., that is the age I got married, she told this young whipper-snapper-smarty-pants of a grand-daughter, that the best advice she could give me to be a good wife was always make my husband breakfast.

I remember telling her, No way, as my husband NEVER ate breakfast, and he could make himself breakfast if he wanted it anyway.

Wasn't I just the tough little women's libber, equal rights chick ?

That conversation happened over 25 years ago, my grandmother has passed away. But I have seen what she was trying to tell me..which is SHOW him that you care for him, take care of him.

So, for the last 3 years ( I'm a little late on the up take here ), I have made him breakfast, he doesn't always want it, yet he seems to like that I make it for him.

 Which takes me back to this sweet strawberry heart I found in the container of strawberries . I went and showed my son, he smiled. Then I showed my husband...then I acted goofy with it and pretending it was beating out of my chest...like in the cartoons.
He smiled too.

But what was so SO fun, was after I cut that one up...

LOOK,

I discovered 2 more in the container !! I was so happy, giddy over these heart strawberries.
I know you are thinking, boy is this woman easily giddy... and it is true over very small things in life.

I love hearts, they represent love to me, I like to see them all the time.

So that is my little bit of my morning here, I got to cut up some heart strawberries, and I love to smell sweet ones, and these smelled sweet.
My day is starting good.

So see Ms. Little Smarty-pants-whipper-snapper -know-it-all -granddaughter , got to slip some love into my husband's cereal this morning.

You were right Mudder , I love you and miss you very much,

Bless you today, show someone you love today with  a small gesture or act, that they matter,

Gina

 " Yet is shall not be so among you ; but whoever desires to be great among you, let him be your servant....just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve , and to give His life a ransom for many. " Matthew 20: 26,28

DEMONSTRATING Love when the FEELING is Not PUSHING You Along

My heart in my garden, covered with snow

We had an interesting weekend here in South Carolina, with the first snowstorm/snowfall in the last 7 years descended upon us. Whenever there is a chance of snow in the Deep South...mass hysteria follows.

Everyone runs to the grocery store to stock up.

Milk , eggs, wine , bread, cookies, whatever that family considers essential.

I decided to run out to my favorite Publix grocery store and bring along a cookbook full of soup recipes, I had chosen one , Chicken Tortellini soup, and I had decided I was going to make a big , gigantic batch of it to last us through the ' storm. "

I then went into Publix, got my cart, and laid my cookbook right down on top of my purse, wide open to my recipe while I shopped. I considered copying the recipe down, but it was long , and I said what the heck, I'll just bring my cookbook.

So I traipsed around the crowded store, trying to get everything for my double batch of soup. I had many people stop and slyly take a glance at what I was going to cook , I would just smile at them and keep shopping.

My favorite part of the trip was when I was getting my fresh zucchini, onions, and garlic...I was directly beside the Valentine's area , where all kinds of men , from all socio-economic classes were running in to grab their sweetheart some flowers or candy, balloons were being blown up as well. Lots of romance.

I am a romantic-sappy-terribly sappy woman, and I wanted to pull up a chair, and sit and watch all these men come and do this. I actually did watch them for awhile, so sweet and funny to see them fish through bouquets, grab balloons, rifle through candy. Hunting quickly for their love...to show their love to them.

Then I remembered.

I had not gotten my husband anything from me for Valentine's because we had gotten into a big argument a few days ago, you know the BIG arguments couples can have, not the regular or medium size ones, but one of the BIG blow-out fights you can have.

So when I had gotten my kids some Valentines things, and my dad, I did BRIEFLY consider getting my husband one...but the anger and hurt was still there, and I did not get him one.

Deliberately did not get him one.

I then left the romance department of the grocery store, and on my way to the check-out...I spied the front of the store's card department, some Valentine's balloons were floating around...and I told my self," Be NICE, go pick out a card for him ! "

I prayed , asked God to help me as The FEELING was not there to get him a card. I know God wants us to demonstrate agape love, self-less love, what is in the best interests of the other love, loving when you don't FEEL like it.

HARD to do for someone who feels too much in general.

And I was making him a big batch of homemade delicious soup ( plus french bread and slice and bake chocolate chip cookies for dessert ), wasn't that enough God ?

No.
Not quite. 

So I pushed my cart loaded down with items, made my way to the Valentine's section, and started looking.

I looked through about 25-30 cards.

Love of my Life card.

You are my greatest blessing card.

You are the perfect husband card.

You make my life wonderful card.

You are the most awesome man in the world card.

You are the most romantic man in the world card. 

You complete me card.

I would marry you all over again card.

I love you more than you know card.

On and on, and no and no for me.

If I did not FEEL 100 % or let's say 90 % like that towards him , then I was not going to buy him that card.

Also words are important to me, they MEAN something , so I could not figure out how to say these sentiments through a card, if I was not all the way in my heart behind them

Then after about 50 or more cards, no lie, I was taking FOREVER , I looked around at the store, looked back at the cards, and laughed at myself.

How ridiculous is it for a woman who is fast at most things, why is she taking forever finding her husband a card ? We have been married almost 29 years, he deserves a card ( plus soup ), plus a giant Hershey almond bar, right ?

So , I looked again, decided on a I love you, simple card , still laughing at how dumb I was behaving, grabbed a giant Hershey almond bar for him too, and pushed my way to the check-out.

Later that evening, while I made my soup , I was remembering that God loves us when we are not lovable, ALL The TIME. 

He gives us gifts and blessings when we least deserve them.

We can work on emulating that with someone we know we should love, but don't feel like it.

More working on my love-walk here.

Have hope, God is not finished with me yet.

My back garden covered in snow

Happy Valentines & Bless you and the ones you love,

Gina

 

" Love is patient and kind, Love is not envious, boastful or proud.. " ! Corinthians 13:4

SEARCHING For What You ALREADY Have

My favorite coffee cup

My little boy grabbed a cup out of the overhead cabinet the other day, turned and glanced at me behind him...and his eyes got big.

He then got himself some cold water out of the fridge...and turned and looked at me again.

I smiled at him, but knew he was acting a little strange, and then I saw it !

The little stinker was drinking out of my favorite coffee cup that I haven't seen in over a year !

He knows that I don't let him drink out of it, as he may accidentally chip it, and I am very particular what makes me happy in a coffee cup.
I got it out of his little hands, and switched it with another.

This one was perfection to me.

No other cup made my coffee taste as good as that cup did.

I have to have the inside of my cup be white, I like to SEE my coffee, the color has to be just perfect. The level of the coffee in the cup has to be just right. Plus this one has the Bible verse, " This is the day the LORD has made, let us REJOICE and BE GLAD in it. " Psalm 118:24
I had thought I either mis-placed it, or something...as it seemed to just disappear.
The funny thing about it, is that is WAS ALWAYS there.
I just couldn't see it.

Lost in plain sight.
So many choices of mugs and cups in my cabinets, I actually have two shelves of coffee mugs and cups. Always thinking I can find one that is better than the last one. Most I never use. I believe when we have too many options in life, we lose sight of what is right in front of us.


If it was a snake it would have bitten me, a term I remember my grandparents in Texas used when something was in plain sight that they had been searching for.
What came to mind to me when I realized it had always been there, and I was over-looking it, or never noticing it, was how we humans search for recognition, or meaning in life, but especially love...and many times, it is already there.
Close to you.
Waiting on you. 
Sitting in the back of a shelf.

God has usually put someone in your life, your spouse if you're married, or if you are not...someone else that you do  not even consider...is there to love you and be loved by you.
By loving what God has blessed you with ( that person that is right there) , we in turn bless ourselves.
Love is God's greatest conduit.

In the palm of my hand.

I felt like God was telling me that day, that He had already given me JOY ( like my cup says ), that it was always there waiting for me.
I just needed to open my eyes and SEE it.

Look around your home today, look at the person that God blessed you with, do not take them for granted. Be thankful , express that to them and God.  If He has not placed someone there for you yet...you are either single , divorced, widowed...have assurance that He has Joy waiting for you.
But keep your eyes open , because it may be hiding in plain sight.
Bless you today !
Gina


" I came that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. " John 10:10

What Kind of SOLDIER, WARRIOR, Fighter are You For GOD ?

I think it is funny sometimes ( not always ), how God allows total opposites to get married. He definitely must have a sense of humor.

Take my husband and me. 

Mr. Salt of the Earth and Mrs. Every Spice in the Cabinet.

I love to corral my husband up , and ask him deep profound questions. He on the other hand, hates it. He would love nothing better than to NEVER have to answer anything deep and profound anyone ever has to ask him again in his life...but no such luck as he's married to me.

Miss Inquisitive.

So I had him corralled in the kitchen one night, he had just got up from the comfort of the dog, the couch and the remote control...and I came up and asked him something that makes the hair stand up on the back of his neck.

I know it does , it always does , every time.

I said, " Let me ask you a question. "

He has one hand on the fridge door handle, ready to get his ice cream...and he stops and looks at me...the hair definitely standing up on his neck.

I move one step closer to him, not letting him out of my eyesight.

He freezes, sighs deeply...then leans against the kitchen counter and goes, ' Ok, what now ?'

I then lean against my side of the kitchen counter and ask:

" If you were a soldier, what kind of soldier would you be ? "

Our pirate-soldier

He just leans back and stares at me.

I say, " C'mon...I know what kind of soldier you would be. "

He then says, ' Oh yeah ?', one eyebrow raised.

Then I tell him,

" You would be one of those soldiers, one of the captains ( I know zilch about military ranking so bear with me ), and you would sit in a large group, in the tent ( before a big attack on the battlefield ), and you would discuss all the different ways to approach the battle , and think long and hard before you recommended anything. "

He just  keeps looking at me.

Then I chime in, " Know what kind of soldier I would be ?' ( like a child ).

He just keeps staring at me.

I continue, 

" I would be one of the soldiers standing at the back of the circle of captains and generals speaking, I would listen to what the problem was, I would deduce what needed to be done, I would probably look at two guys beside me...and say to them " Let's GO."  Then I would leave the tent quickly and attack the situation head on ! "

My husband just keeps looking at me, silence.

I then say, " Of course I would be very brave and probably very dead soon, but at least I heard the problem and DID SOMETHING. "

He then vaguely smiled at me and said, " Hmmpph."

Which meant he thought I would be dead too.

The point of all of this conversation is alot of Christians sit around complaining about things that are either wrong with the church , wrong with religion, wrong with other Christians, wrong with the world, etc...but FEW people FIGHT for what they believe in. So are you that ' discusser' Christian, or that ' THEY ( not you but the infamous they), should do something about it " Christian, or that ' pretty-soon I'll do whatever' Christian ,or that ' go all out warrior' Christian ? 

I know too may talkers, too may discussers.

Too much nothing.

There needs to be some ' backing up ' , either with words, actions, money , or prayer...of what you personally feel is a problem.We have a spiritual battlefield , our present world , and it NEEDS each of us to be a soldier, a warrior for God.

God needs us to do this for HIM.

Usually it is that nagging feeling inside about either religious issues, moral issues , family issues, world or community issues ,...these seem to be the big ' hot-points' in our hearts.

There has probably always been some issue that gets most of your attention, that gets you riled up.

I encourage you strongly to do SOMETHING , to prove to God and yourself , and your family, that you will fight for Him and His Kingdom. This does not mean forming a large protest, or getting petitions signed...it could...but at the VERY least if we all would stand up against gossip, crassness and crudeness so prevalent in many areas , outright lewdness , outright rudeness, cruelty, ( I could go on and on )...then we would be standing up for

GOD.

That can mean walking away from a conversation, not laughing at crude and crass comments like everyone does, not laughing or gawking at lewd behavior or images, you get my drift...not accepting the way our world is becoming.

I later asked my husband  ( again like a child ), " So do you think I woud be a good soldier ? "

He looks at me for a few moments and says,

" Yes."

I say , " Really ? "

He says, " Yes...you like to be in charge."

Spoken from the mouth of my tough-guy husband. 

I believe that was a compliment from him. Probably a back-handed compliment , but I'll take it anyway.

I hope you think hard about what you'll stand up for God for,

Blessings,

Gina

" I have fought the good fight , I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. ' 2 Timothy 4:7

Is it LOVE or LUST... this Imperfect Christian WOMAN will tell you Here

Psyche & cupid at The Met

I decided to write about the difference between love and lust, and how you can very easily tell it...for various reasons , but foremost because I feel our society is so caught up in the lust of the flesh...that they confuse it with TRUE love .  I have grown up with all of the lusty movies and television shows and I see how they polluted my mind and how they are polluting our children's minds and hearts. We are inundated daily with images , in the media, movies, paper ads...that depict ' love' between two people. Usually this love involves deeply looking into each other's eyes, long deep kisses, then ripping each other's clothes off. We have been programmed to believe now THAT is really love. I can tell you right now, THAT is really LUST. That is actually one of the first clues I was going to mention to tell the difference, if ripping each other's clothes off is the FIRST thought when you relate to each other . Not to say  that married couple's that love each other should not think that, ( I believe they should think it about even MORE than they probably do ), but if your FIRST thought is always sexual--BIG clue it is lust.

Obvious true love, a boy and his dog.

Second clue...lust involves always WANTING something from that person, love involves GIVING , more than getting. If you find yourself wanting to GIVE to a person more, rather than asking yourself what can I GET from that person, ( usually in exchange for something ), then love is in the picture. Lust wants to GET, love wants to GIVE. 

Third clue..and last clue...if you are usually considering what is in the best interests of the OTHER person , more than YOUR best interests...in whatever way... your needs, your time, your money, your future, their future...then it is LOVE.  Most especially when you may be angry with the person, hurt , or disappointed in them. It is easy to love someone when they are being ' perfect' , in whatever way ' perfect' is to you. It is when you still deeply care about them when they are NOT so perfect, that love is demonstrated. Lust will not last with the hard times of life , it will disappear.

I forgot there is one last test , and it is the one you see in retrospect.

TIME. Time will always be the test of love or lust as well, early love...the giddy ' young love' ,( my very favorite ), then the middle years of love...when you see couples enjoying their time together and holding hands when they are  in their 40-60's, then the most profound love of all...demonstrated with the elderly ...the man tenderly holding his wife's hand when they walk, or gently putting his arm around her, and when his eyes still sparkle when he sees her, or her's when she sees him . She is not as beautiful or vibrant as she was , and he is not as strong or handsome as he was , but the love they share is the deepest beside the love of God. The surface has faded off of them both, and what is left is the core.

God's love trumps  over all the ' lust-love', the giddy-love, the middle-year's love, and the profound love of the elderly. That is a fact that will fill your soul.

Be careful out there in this world of lust landmines and pitfalls.

If after reading this you have figured out you really DO love someone, please let them know, because life is truly very short.

I hope your day is filled with love,

Gina

" Love is patient and kind. Love is not boastful , or proud. It is not arrogant or rude, It is not selfish or easily provoked, It thinks no evil ; Rejoices not in iniquity but rejoices in the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things , hopes all things, endures all things . Love never fails. and now faith , hope , and love abide, these three: but the greatest of these is LOVE. " 1 Corinthians 13 4-8, 13

10 Tips for Husbands to Really Show LOVE to Their Wives

 

 Here is a list of some do's and don't s for husbands to show their wives that they love them. My qualifications to come up with this are simply that I have been married for 28+ years...I have seen a lot of men over those years do things, or say things to their wives that I do not believe they understand the impact it causes to their marriages. I do believe men want to be great husbands , but either get too lazy emotionally , or too busy physically , to do their best. This article will definitely have a Christian slant to it , but can be applied to all religions or faiths. I also know that another article could be written about what women can do to show love to their husbands better. This one is strictly for the men though...and I warn you that if you start applying some of these practices in your marriage...don't do it for one day or a week or a month...keep it up...the rewards of your wife loving you more than ever before are limitless and satisfying for you both.

So here goes:

1. Tell your wife EVERYDAY, that she is beautiful. Do not schmooze and be phony, compliment on her eyes, her hair, her smile, the way she dresses ...whatever that day catches your eye. Be genuine with your compliments. Every wife needs to hear this often, that she is beautiful.  
   
2.  Tell your wife EVERYDAY that you love her...I know some couples that never tell each other they love each other. You will not regret this one.
   
3.  Take time to call your wife from work, simply to tell her you love her...again, EVERYDAY is good.
4. Take your wife to lunch once a week or once every two weeks. No kids, just you two. Now if you have young children...then yes, by all means bring the kids too. But if they are in school or out of school...then plan on being by yourselves...and FLIRT with your wife during these lunches. Wives love when their husbands flirt with them. Put your hand at the small of her back when you walk, hold hands , touching is wonderful at any age.
   
5. Ok, here's a big one--Do NOT be nicer to the waitress, the check-out clerk, your secretary, your neighbor,  the baby-sitter, other wives of other men , soccer moms, random strangers...THAN YOU ARE TO YOUR OWN WIFE. I have seen countless men be sugary sweet to a waitress , and then turn to their own wives and be abrupt and rude. The relationship that God watches the most, and expects your best..after your relationship with Him...is your relationship with your spouse. How you treat her behind closed doors and in public is a witness to HER, your CHILDREN, your extended FAMILY...and the community. Show her respect and treat her SUPERIOR to any other woman you have any contact with, anywhere. She will be profoundly grateful..and feel your love.
6. On a lighter note, remember basic hygiene please. You do not have to get slack about showers, brushing your teeth, clipping your nails , shaving , once you are married. Look your BEST for your wife , basic grooming is all that is needed.
7. This may be a hard one for some men...but you need to be able to do this for many reasons. Do NOT leer, take second and third glances, check-out, or comment on other attractive women. This is basically very dis-respectful to your wife, may make her feel inadequate and is very unloving. This applies to wives of ALL ages, 25, 35, 45, 55, 65, 75...but especially a more delicate issue for wives as they get older. Be sensitive and show some class. Not just when you are together somewhere, TRAIN yourself to be able to look at another woman ,( I know you're not all dead out there..so yes, you can see she is attractive )...but then  let your eyes move on. This action alone can make your marriage happier and make your wife feel more beautiful. It also can have a HUGE impact on your children , co-workers...as they can see you display integrity and love...a visible act of love to your wife and family.
   
8. When you get home from work, hug your wife...ask her what she did today ? Do you know how many women I have spoken to that say their husbands NEVER ask them about their day ? Show interest in her, also take some time to ask her what she has dreams about doing...either  an occupation...a trip...a volunteer activity...whatever. Maybe she wants to create a garden , a piece of art, a scrapbook, whatever it is do NOT be demeaning and negative about it. This woman is precious to you, allow her to share with you and encourage her, if it is possible help her make it come true ...if she wants your help...she may just need to know that you care.
9. About gifts, such as flowers, candy , jewelery...yes, women DO love this..but also find the ' thing ' she talks about most...and find that for her. Maybe a book about what she is interested in, or a class she could take , or buy her a gift certificate. You do NOT have to spend a lot of money...just be interested in what she feels passionate about.
10. This one you guys really won't like---as you have heard it before--but it is a problem in marriages. Try NOT to be a total TV Zombie at home, you know the ones with the remote in their hand when they walk through the door, by their side at dinner, and in their lap the rest of the night.  Your wife and also your children need to see that Dad is as interested in them as much as the latest scores, random commercials, 30 year  old action flicks , and especially any shows that may depict sexual or suggestive views of other women..which is rampant on TV these days. This of course also applies to the internet. You think because you are by yourself at work or at home, that you are not hurting your wife looking at either pornography or suggestive sites. You may be alone, but I will let you know that you really are not. God is always there..He judges us all by what we do in private, even more than out in public. He cares deeply about where you put your attention. You hurt your relationship with HIM, your wife ,and your children. Do you think when you are old that you will look back at your life and think , " Gee, wish I had spent more time watching TV or on the internet ?" True character is developed when we chose to do the right thing out of love...not because anyone can see us do it , but when you make the choice on what to look at because of the bond you have with your wife and God.
    

One last thing, remember life is SHORT. Give your best in life, NOT to your co-workers, neighbors, service clerks, waitresses, etc. Give your BEST to the people that will truly mourn you when you are gone, the people that really love you. Be kind and considerate with everyone..but be a witness , a testimony to the love you have for your wife.

Now I will also caution you to tell your wife you read an article about how to show your wife you love her, so she doesn't think something else is going on in your life, or that space aliens have abducted her husband and you have been replaced.

Oh..one last thing...find a church, take your wife to church...every week. Be the spiritual leader in your home. Step up to the plate in this area above all.

My very best to you and I wish you and your wife many blessings ,
Gina

" Husbands, love your wives , as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her. " Ephesians 5:25