Here is a list of some do's and don't s for husbands to show their wives that they love them. My qualifications to come up with this are simply that I have been married for 28+ years...I have seen a lot of men over those years do things, or say things to their wives that I do not believe they understand the impact it causes to their marriages. I do believe men want to be great husbands , but either get too lazy emotionally , or too busy physically , to do their best. This article will definitely have a Christian slant to it , but can be applied to all religions or faiths. I also know that another article could be written about what women can do to show love to their husbands better. This one is strictly for the men though...and I warn you that if you start applying some of these practices in your marriage...don't do it for one day or a week or a month...keep it up...the rewards of your wife loving you more than ever before are limitless and satisfying for you both.
So here goes:
- Tell your wife EVERYDAY, that she is beautiful. Do not schmooze and be phony, compliment on her eyes, her hair, her smile, the way she dresses ...whatever that day catches your eye. Be genuine with your compliments. Every wife needs to hear this often, that she is beautiful.
- Tell your wife EVERYDAY that you love her...I know some couples that never tell each other they love each other. You will not regret this one.
- Take time to call your wife from work, simply to tell her you love her...again, EVERYDAY is good.
- Take your wife to lunch once a week or once every two weeks. No kids, just you two. Now if you have young children...then yes, by all means bring the kids too. But if they are in school or out of school...then plan on being by yourselves...and FLIRT with your wife during these lunches. Wives love when their husbands flirt with them. Put your hand at the small of her back when you walk, hold hands , touching is wonderful at any age.
- Ok, here's a big one--Do NOT be nicer to the waitress, the check-out clerk, your secretary, your neighbor, the baby-sitter, other wives of other men , soccer moms, random strangers...THAN YOU ARE TO YOUR OWN WIFE. I have seen countless men be sugary sweet to a waitress , and then turn to their own wives and be abrupt and rude. The relationship that God watches the most, and expects your best..after your relationship with Him...is your relationship with your spouse. How you treat her behind closed doors and in public is a witness to HER, your CHILDREN, your extended FAMILY...and the community. Show her respect and treat her SUPERIOR to any other woman you have any contact with, anywhere. She will be profoundly grateful..and feel your love.
- On a lighter note, remember basic hygiene please. You do not have to get slack about showers, brushing your teeth, clipping your nails , shaving , once you are married. Look your BEST for your wife , basic grooming is all that is needed.
- This may be a hard one for some men...but you need to be able to do this for many reasons. Do NOT leer, take second and third glances, check-out, or comment on other attractive women. This is basically very dis-respectful to your wife, may make her feel inadequate and is very unloving. This applies to wives of ALL ages, 25, 35, 45, 55, 65, 75...but especially a more delicate issue for wives as they get older. Be sensitive and show some class. Not just when you are together somewhere, TRAIN yourself to be able to look at another woman ,( I know you're not all dead out there..so yes, you can see she is attractive )...but then let your eyes move on. This action alone can make your marriage happier and make your wife feel more beautiful. It also can have a HUGE impact on your children , co-workers...as they can see you display integrity and love...a visible act of love to your wife and family.
- When you get home from work, hug your wife...ask her what she did today ? Do you know how many women I have spoken to that say their husbands NEVER ask them about their day ? Show interest in her, also take some time to ask her what she has dreams about doing...either an occupation...a trip...a volunteer activity...whatever. Maybe she wants to create a garden , a piece of art, a scrapbook, whatever it is do NOT be demeaning and negative about it. This woman is precious to you, allow her to share with you and encourage her, if it is possible help her make it come true ...if she wants your help...she may just need to know that you care.
- About gifts, such as flowers, candy , jewelery...yes, women DO love this..but also find the ' thing ' she talks about most...and find that for her. Maybe a book about what she is interested in, or a class she could take , or buy her a gift certificate. You do NOT have to spend a lot of money...just be interested in what she feels passionate about.
- This one you guys really won't like---as you have heard it before--but it is a problem in marriages. Try NOT to be a total TV Zombie at home, you know the ones with the remote in their hand when they walk through the door, by their side at dinner, and in their lap the rest of the night. Your wife and also your children need to see that Dad is as interested in them as much as the latest scores, random commercials, 30 year old action flicks , and especially any shows that may depict sexual or suggestive views of other women..which is rampant on TV these days. This of course also applies to the internet. You think because you are by yourself at work or at home, that you are not hurting your wife looking at either pornography or suggestive sites. You may be alone, but I will let you know that you really are not. God is always there..He judges us all by what we do in private, even more than out in public. He cares deeply about where you put your attention. You hurt your relationship with HIM, your wife ,and your children. Do you think when you are old that you will look back at your life and think , " Gee, wish I had spent more time watching TV or on the internet ?" True character is developed when we chose to do the right thing out of love...not because anyone can see us do it , but when you make the choice on what to look at because of the bond you have with your wife and God.
One last thing, remember life is SHORT. Give your best in life, NOT to your co-workers, neighbors, service clerks, waitresses, etc. Give your BEST to the people that will truly mourn you when you are gone, the people that really love you. Be kind and considerate with everyone..but be a witness , a testimony to the love you have for your wife.
Now I will also caution you to tell your wife you read an article about how to show your wife you love her, so she doesn't think something else is going on in your life, or that space aliens have abducted her husband and you have been replaced.
Oh..one last thing...find a church, take your wife to church...every week. Be the spiritual leader in your home. Step up to the plate in this area above all.
My very best to you and I wish you and your wife many blessings ,
" Husbands, love your wives , as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her. " Ephesians 5:25